Crazy Dating Stories to Kickstart 2024: Gucci Fakes, FBI Impersonations, and Red Flags Galore!

1
00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:03,806
Ryan: Hello, happy 2024 everybody.

2
00:00:04,427 --> 00:00:07,211
Ryan: We are here in the new year, it's January,

3
00:00:07,852 --> 00:00:10,321
Ryan: the first show of the new year, so I hope

4
00:00:10,341 --> 00:00:12,786
Ryan: you had a great Christmas in New Year and

5
00:00:12,806 --> 00:00:15,431
Ryan: we are back and the whole world is going to

6
00:00:15,451 --> 00:00:16,212
Ryan: shit already.

7
00:00:17,020 --> 00:00:18,163
Ryan: You know it's fucking mental.

8
00:00:18,183 --> 00:00:19,886
Ryan: Why is it always January that everyone

9
00:00:19,906 --> 00:00:21,811
Ryan: decides to fucking have a being their born

10
00:00:21,831 --> 00:00:22,693
Ryan: and start kicking off?

11
00:00:23,362 --> 00:00:24,709
Ryan: You know you've got fucking everything's

12
00:00:24,729 --> 00:00:25,030
Ryan: happening.

13
00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:26,116
Ryan: You've got the Israelis and the

14
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:26,980
Ryan: Palestinians kicking off.

15
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:30,652
Ryan: You've got a ram kicking off, the storms

16
00:00:30,692 --> 00:00:31,013
Ryan: everywhere.

17
00:00:31,053 --> 00:00:32,699
Ryan: I'm in the UK right now and the storms

18
00:00:32,739 --> 00:00:34,208
Ryan: everywhere it's freezing.

19
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,000
Ryan: The apocalypse is coming and we're fucked.

20
00:00:36,020 --> 00:00:39,211
Ryan: But hey, you're listening to this, so let's

21
00:00:39,231 --> 00:00:40,756
Ryan: forget about it for half an hour or 40

22
00:00:40,776 --> 00:00:42,000
Ryan: minutes, depending on how long it can be.

23
00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:43,263
Ryan: I was talking to you guys for.

24
00:00:44,266 --> 00:00:45,809
Ryan: So there are a lot of few things have

25
00:00:45,830 --> 00:00:46,852
Ryan: happened over the past few months.

26
00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:47,882
Ryan: I've got a producer.

27
00:00:48,523 --> 00:00:49,044
Ryan: How you doing, alex?

28
00:00:49,064 --> 00:00:49,385
Ryan: You all right.

29
00:00:49,405 --> 00:00:51,008
Ryan: You going to say hello?

30
00:00:52,611 --> 00:00:54,823
Ryan: No, no, alex doesn't, he's a bit camera shy.

31
00:00:54,843 --> 00:00:55,908
Ryan: He's a bit camera shy.

32
00:00:56,129 --> 00:00:57,153
Ryan: Funny story Actually.

33
00:00:57,193 --> 00:00:57,815
Ryan: I met Alex.

34
00:00:58,377 --> 00:00:58,960
Ryan: Actually, how I met him?

35
00:00:59,822 --> 00:01:01,826
Ryan: I went down south to Dover.

36
00:01:01,846 --> 00:01:02,508
Ryan: I'm in the UK.

37
00:01:02,568 --> 00:01:06,604
Ryan: For any people from outside the UK, dover's

38
00:01:06,664 --> 00:01:09,110
Ryan: now by the coast, so I went down to the

39
00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:10,253
Ryan: coast just for a little drive.

40
00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:12,318
Ryan: And yeah, I was just walking across the sea

41
00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:13,000
Ryan: front and all that sort of stuff.

42
00:01:13,642 --> 00:01:15,910
Ryan: And yeah, I seen Alex with a couple of his

43
00:01:15,930 --> 00:01:16,532
Ryan: mates walk up.

44
00:01:17,094 --> 00:01:18,318
Ryan: He looked a bit wet, I think he must have

45
00:01:18,338 --> 00:01:20,363
Ryan: been in a boat, but he came off one of the

46
00:01:20,383 --> 00:01:20,624
Ryan: boats.

47
00:01:21,105 --> 00:01:22,247
Ryan: So I was like, oh, how you doing buddy

48
00:01:22,468 --> 00:01:24,452
Ryan: which is a bit strange because I was no one

49
00:01:24,472 --> 00:01:26,664
Ryan: near the port and I was like, okay, and we

50
00:01:26,704 --> 00:01:27,345
Ryan: start chatting.

51
00:01:27,405 --> 00:01:29,670
Ryan: And, yeah, his mates ran off and I start

52
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:33,479
Ryan: chatting to him and, yeah, I think I've

53
00:01:33,519 --> 00:01:34,000
Ryan: talked too much.

54
00:01:34,501 --> 00:01:36,085
Ryan: Anyway, let's carry on, alex.

55
00:01:36,105 --> 00:01:36,746
Ryan: Welcome to the team.

56
00:01:36,987 --> 00:01:38,290
Ryan: All that sort of stuff so great, great,

57
00:01:39,111 --> 00:01:42,744
Ryan: well done so 2024.

58
00:01:42,784 --> 00:01:45,648
Ryan: So what we've done for this new year

59
00:01:45,748 --> 00:01:49,213
Ryan: episode yeah, I've decided to bring back an

60
00:01:49,313 --> 00:01:51,436
Ryan: ongoing series that has been getting a lot

61
00:01:51,476 --> 00:01:53,359
Ryan: of traction recently on TikTok and

62
00:01:53,399 --> 00:01:55,923
Ryan: Instagram and I thought I would bring it

63
00:01:55,943 --> 00:01:58,027
Ryan: back, which is the online dating horror

64
00:01:58,047 --> 00:01:58,427
Ryan: stories.

65
00:01:58,768 --> 00:01:59,710
Ryan: This is gonna be number three.

66
00:02:00,631 --> 00:02:02,654
Ryan: You luckiest, lucky bastards that these are,

67
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,324
Ryan: you just like to hear people's crazy online

68
00:02:05,364 --> 00:02:06,807
Ryan: dating stories, don't you the horror

69
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:07,168
Ryan: stories?

70
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,209
Ryan: But don't be all.

71
00:02:08,430 --> 00:02:08,851
Ryan: I love it.

72
00:02:08,971 --> 00:02:10,894
Ryan: It's so much fun and it's a good laugh.

73
00:02:11,341 --> 00:02:13,024
Ryan: So don't worry about what's happening in

74
00:02:13,044 --> 00:02:13,906
Ryan: the world right now.

75
00:02:14,307 --> 00:02:17,743
Ryan: Just sit back, relax and let's hear some

76
00:02:17,823 --> 00:02:20,153
Ryan: crazy, crazy stories about other people's

77
00:02:20,193 --> 00:02:21,598
Ryan: misfortune, trying to find the love of

78
00:02:21,618 --> 00:02:21,880
Ryan: their life.

79
00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:24,103
Ryan: So, boys and girls, let's.

80
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,866
Ryan: What's the matter.

81
00:02:25,906 --> 00:02:28,090
Ryan: What do you mean?

82
00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:29,452
Ryan: I can't say boys and girls anymore.

83
00:02:31,501 --> 00:02:32,202
Ryan: It's not woken up.

84
00:02:33,385 --> 00:02:34,186
Ryan: What the fuck is woke?

85
00:02:35,569 --> 00:02:35,950
Ryan: What's this?

86
00:02:39,043 --> 00:02:39,423
Ryan: These are all.

87
00:02:39,684 --> 00:02:40,627
Ryan: I have to say these as well.

88
00:02:41,469 --> 00:02:43,541
Ryan: For fuck's sake, right, hold on.

89
00:02:43,881 --> 00:02:47,005
Ryan: So, boys and girls, cis genders, trans

90
00:02:47,045 --> 00:02:50,549
Ryan: genders, bi genders, trans women, gender

91
00:02:50,609 --> 00:02:54,233
Ryan: fluid, intersex, omnigender gender, queer

92
00:02:55,735 --> 00:02:58,082
Ryan: agender, two-spirit Fuck off man.

93
00:02:58,423 --> 00:02:58,784
Ryan: What is this?

94
00:02:58,924 --> 00:03:00,287
Ryan: What is it with this fucking country, this

95
00:03:00,307 --> 00:03:01,049
Ryan: world right now?

96
00:03:01,310 --> 00:03:02,312
Ryan: What is woke bullshit?

97
00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:03,804
Ryan: Fucking hell.

98
00:03:03,985 --> 00:03:04,970
Ryan: They're fucking boys and girls.

99
00:03:04,990 --> 00:03:05,412
Ryan: Get over it.

100
00:03:05,734 --> 00:03:07,401
Ryan: So what is bullshit, man, jesus, about

101
00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:07,821
Ryan: Fengie?

102
00:03:09,284 --> 00:03:11,689
Ryan: Where the hell am I fucking off Jesus?

103
00:03:12,069 --> 00:03:14,434
Ryan: I'm gonna get cancelled this year, god.

104
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,743
Ryan: Anyway, let's move on swiftly onto this.

105
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:18,307
Ryan: So here we go.

106
00:03:18,327 --> 00:03:20,932
Ryan: So the planning of the format for this

107
00:03:21,032 --> 00:03:23,345
Ryan: episode really is if you don't know what's

108
00:03:23,365 --> 00:03:24,651
Ryan: happened, you've not listened to the

109
00:03:24,711 --> 00:03:25,313
Ryan: previous ones.

110
00:03:25,574 --> 00:03:26,819
Ryan: Go listen to them, go tell your friends

111
00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,564
Ryan: about it and come back and listen to this

112
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:29,046
Ryan: one as well.

113
00:03:29,868 --> 00:03:31,834
Ryan: I've asked my followers on socials

114
00:03:32,095 --> 00:03:33,679
Ryan: Instagram, tiktok, facebook, all that sort

115
00:03:33,699 --> 00:03:35,484
Ryan: of stuff and I've obviously trolled

116
00:03:35,564 --> 00:03:39,215
Ryan: Internet as well, to find funny Internet

117
00:03:39,235 --> 00:03:41,000
Ryan: horror stories Funny but not so funny ones.

118
00:03:41,361 --> 00:03:42,825
Ryan: Some are bad, some are good, some are

119
00:03:42,925 --> 00:03:47,957
Ryan: mental, and, yeah, I have collated a bunch

120
00:03:47,997 --> 00:03:48,980
Ryan: of them to find out what you guys think.

121
00:03:49,441 --> 00:03:51,829
Ryan: So here we go, let's dive into this, let's

122
00:03:51,870 --> 00:03:54,398
Ryan: get head first into this and find out

123
00:03:54,418 --> 00:03:54,920
Ryan: what's happening.

124
00:03:55,622 --> 00:03:56,143
Ryan: So here we go.

125
00:03:56,183 --> 00:03:58,510
Ryan: So this one this is coming from someone

126
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:02,246
Ryan: from the US, actually, a guy who was

127
00:04:02,286 --> 00:04:04,453
Ryan: arrested on a date by detectives.

128
00:04:04,934 --> 00:04:06,619
Ryan: He tried to return a pair of Gucci

129
00:04:06,639 --> 00:04:09,185
Ryan: sunglasses oh, a pair of fake Gucci

130
00:04:09,206 --> 00:04:09,887
Ryan: sunglasses.

131
00:04:10,489 --> 00:04:12,213
Ryan: When the store clerk threatened to call the

132
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:14,880
Ryan: police, he flashed an FBI badge to the

133
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:15,000
Ryan: clerk.

134
00:04:15,883 --> 00:04:17,749
Ryan: Turns out they got him in tape flashing

135
00:04:17,789 --> 00:04:20,498
Ryan: what actually was his brother-in-law's FBI

136
00:04:20,579 --> 00:04:21,000
Ryan: business card.

137
00:04:22,102 --> 00:04:24,426
Ryan: The card has an FBI hologram about three

138
00:04:24,486 --> 00:04:27,031
Ryan: inches by five inches in size, so it could

139
00:04:27,071 --> 00:04:28,854
Ryan: pass as being legit at a glance.

140
00:04:29,943 --> 00:04:32,029
Ryan: Did I mention he was the school principal

141
00:04:32,089 --> 00:04:34,335
Ryan: for a reputable Catholic school in my area?

142
00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:37,603
Ryan: Story made headlines and all Fucking

143
00:04:37,683 --> 00:04:38,104
Ryan: teachers.

144
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,828
Ryan: Man Never trust teachers.

145
00:04:40,369 --> 00:04:41,150
Ryan: I've always got a rule.

146
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,575
Ryan: I don't know about anyone else.

147
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:44,938
Ryan: I've been dating.

148
00:04:44,998 --> 00:04:46,683
Ryan: I still am dating out there, still on the

149
00:04:46,724 --> 00:04:47,367
Ryan: online stuff.

150
00:04:47,407 --> 00:04:50,662
Ryan: So girls fancy it, slay the DMs, it's chat.

151
00:04:51,223 --> 00:04:53,549
Ryan: But Christ, it's getting to that stage.

152
00:04:53,609 --> 00:04:54,491
Ryan: I haven't found anyone.

153
00:04:54,692 --> 00:04:56,957
Ryan: I have to pin myself out on my own podcast

154
00:04:56,977 --> 00:04:58,000
Ryan: to get a date from someone.

155
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:00,291
Ryan: God, types are tough.

156
00:05:00,312 --> 00:05:01,980
Ryan: 2024 is starting, all great.

157
00:05:02,981 --> 00:05:04,362
Ryan: But yeah, teachers.

158
00:05:04,422 --> 00:05:06,263
Ryan: I've been out in a few dates with teachers

159
00:05:06,763 --> 00:05:09,906
Ryan: in the past, and do you know what I hate

160
00:05:09,947 --> 00:05:10,628
Ryan: going out with teachers?

161
00:05:10,648 --> 00:05:12,573
Ryan: Because, yes, they do great things.

162
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:14,457
Ryan: They do teach the next generation.

163
00:05:14,517 --> 00:05:17,493
Ryan: Some teach them well, some teach them shit.

164
00:05:17,854 --> 00:05:20,022
Ryan: Some are good, some are bad, but that's all

165
00:05:20,042 --> 00:05:20,705
Ryan: they talk about.

166
00:05:20,865 --> 00:05:22,450
Ryan: I went out with this teacher once years and

167
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,275
Ryan: years ago I think, probably about 10, 12

168
00:05:24,295 --> 00:05:26,909
Ryan: years ago and all she kept talking about is

169
00:05:26,929 --> 00:05:29,114
Ryan: how awesome her job was and how awesome a

170
00:05:29,174 --> 00:05:30,337
Ryan: person she is for doing it.

171
00:05:30,746 --> 00:05:31,007
Ryan: And I'm not.

172
00:05:31,027 --> 00:05:33,097
Ryan: We were not on three dates and the com.

173
00:05:33,197 --> 00:05:34,865
Ryan: I knew everything about everything about

174
00:05:34,885 --> 00:05:37,572
Ryan: her fucking life and every single person

175
00:05:37,612 --> 00:05:39,036
Ryan: that she teaches and what they're all about.

176
00:05:39,276 --> 00:05:40,588
Ryan: She knew, fuck, all about me.

177
00:05:41,391 --> 00:05:42,114
Ryan: And, oh my god.

178
00:05:42,154 --> 00:05:44,120
Ryan: So then I was just like no, you're doing my

179
00:05:44,181 --> 00:05:45,827
Ryan: ed in, can't be doing with it.

180
00:05:46,168 --> 00:05:47,634
Ryan: I'm not getting involved with teachers

181
00:05:47,775 --> 00:05:50,044
Ryan: anymore because you're doing my nuts in.

182
00:05:50,064 --> 00:05:50,888
Ryan: So that's rule number one.

183
00:05:50,928 --> 00:05:52,416
Ryan: That's one of my rules.

184
00:05:52,576 --> 00:05:53,320
Ryan: Don't get me wrong, guys.

185
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,888
Ryan: If you're a teacher listening to this, I do

186
00:05:54,908 --> 00:05:55,390
Ryan: apologize.

187
00:05:56,113 --> 00:05:57,600
Ryan: You might be different, you might be kind

188
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,166
Ryan: of completely different, but I've had some

189
00:05:59,186 --> 00:06:00,869
Ryan: bad experiences with them, to be honest.

190
00:06:02,052 --> 00:06:03,535
Ryan: So, yeah, so on.

191
00:06:03,635 --> 00:06:06,828
Ryan: Ok, cupid, I met a girl in West Hollywood

192
00:06:07,128 --> 00:06:08,050
Ryan: and went to a dinner.

193
00:06:08,953 --> 00:06:10,536
Ryan: She turned out to be way bigger than her

194
00:06:10,576 --> 00:06:13,190
Ryan: pictures, insanely rich, and was Ozzy

195
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,016
Ryan: Osbourne's cardiologist daughter or some

196
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:19,691
Ryan: shit like that, and also had a nasty coke

197
00:06:19,731 --> 00:06:20,093
Ryan: habit.

198
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,481
Ryan: Don't weigh all, don't weigh all.

199
00:06:23,163 --> 00:06:26,150
Ryan: The whole day, the whole day, she was doing

200
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:28,535
Ryan: cocaine in the bathroom and barely ate her

201
00:06:28,575 --> 00:06:30,988
Ryan: food, and then afterwards we went back to

202
00:06:31,028 --> 00:06:32,995
Ryan: her place OK, fair enough, you might be

203
00:06:33,015 --> 00:06:35,585
Ryan: getting lucky here where she visibly spiked

204
00:06:35,705 --> 00:06:38,030
Ryan: my drink and then asked me to tie her up

205
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:41,136
Ryan: and then refused to allow me to drive my

206
00:06:41,217 --> 00:06:42,299
Ryan: car out the garage.

207
00:06:43,105 --> 00:06:45,331
Ryan: Well, leave me to wait in my car until

208
00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,497
Ryan: morning after, when I followed someone out.

209
00:06:47,806 --> 00:06:48,750
Ryan: Well, technically, you've just.

210
00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:50,297
Ryan: You're on drugs, mate, you've been spiked.

211
00:06:50,337 --> 00:06:52,005
Ryan: So, yeah, that's a good idea.

212
00:06:52,025 --> 00:06:53,892
Ryan: To be quite honest with you doesn't seem

213
00:06:53,932 --> 00:06:54,374
Ryan: great, though.

214
00:06:55,037 --> 00:06:56,724
Ryan: She called three days later to say that I

215
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:57,707
Ryan: cost her miscarriage.

216
00:06:57,807 --> 00:06:59,752
Ryan: Oh, fucking hell, didn't know she was

217
00:06:59,792 --> 00:07:00,153
Ryan: pregnant.

218
00:07:01,056 --> 00:07:03,242
Ryan: Jesus, that was mental.

219
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,168
Ryan: I don't know how to say to that.

220
00:07:06,474 --> 00:07:06,895
Ryan: What do you do?

221
00:07:07,096 --> 00:07:08,482
Ryan: The thing is, though, what do you normally

222
00:07:08,522 --> 00:07:09,606
Ryan: do if you're sitting here, you're out with

223
00:07:09,666 --> 00:07:12,153
Ryan: a guy or a girl, you're in a day, and then

224
00:07:12,173 --> 00:07:13,577
Ryan: you go, you're having something and she's

225
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:14,711
Ryan: the constant in the toilet.

226
00:07:15,032 --> 00:07:16,419
Ryan: I mean, the thing is, though, I'm always in

227
00:07:16,439 --> 00:07:18,868
Ryan: the toilet because I'm getting old, I have

228
00:07:18,888 --> 00:07:20,613
Ryan: a few drinks and I, you know, I always call

229
00:07:20,633 --> 00:07:22,927
Ryan: it, you break the seal and I've got a weak

230
00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:23,328
Ryan: bladder.

231
00:07:23,348 --> 00:07:24,815
Ryan: So I'm always in the toilet constantly

232
00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:25,618
Ryan: after a few drinks.

233
00:07:26,181 --> 00:07:27,867
Ryan: So I don't know if people actually thought

234
00:07:28,087 --> 00:07:31,295
Ryan: that maybe I've had a coke habit or a drug

235
00:07:31,435 --> 00:07:32,357
Ryan: addiction or something.

236
00:07:32,398 --> 00:07:34,552
Ryan: But yeah, I've just got a weak bladder.

237
00:07:34,592 --> 00:07:35,818
Ryan: But yeah, what do you do?

238
00:07:35,839 --> 00:07:36,602
Ryan: Did you just leg it?

239
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:37,627
Ryan: I would have legged it.

240
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,456
Ryan: After that, the girl I was with was proper

241
00:07:41,058 --> 00:07:43,185
Ryan: shoving stuff up her nose and yeah, I'd be

242
00:07:43,205 --> 00:07:45,592
Ryan: like nah, nah, I'm out, see you later.

243
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,799
Ryan: Darling, here's money for a cab home jog on.

244
00:07:48,823 --> 00:07:50,066
Ryan: Life's too short for that bullshit.

245
00:07:50,106 --> 00:07:51,450
Ryan: To be quite honest with you, no chance you

246
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:52,111
Ryan: can't be doing with that.

247
00:07:53,575 --> 00:07:57,068
Ryan: I met a woman for a date was a lot of

248
00:07:57,108 --> 00:07:59,257
Ryan: chemistry, but she worked two interesting

249
00:07:59,298 --> 00:08:01,527
Ryan: jobs and there was no real warning signs.

250
00:08:02,209 --> 00:08:03,875
Ryan: For a second date, she invites me to this

251
00:08:03,996 --> 00:08:06,305
Ryan: picnic camp out thing where she didn't know

252
00:08:06,325 --> 00:08:07,407
Ryan: the people very well.

253
00:08:08,189 --> 00:08:09,813
Ryan: We talk about how most of her friends are

254
00:08:09,853 --> 00:08:11,937
Ryan: guys and most of mine are girls.

255
00:08:12,566 --> 00:08:14,492
Ryan: She says she is bringing crew along.

256
00:08:15,074 --> 00:08:15,536
Ryan: Fuck his crew.

257
00:08:15,576 --> 00:08:16,680
Ryan: Is she bringing an entourage?

258
00:08:17,282 --> 00:08:19,311
Ryan: She's gonna rob you, she's gonna fuck you

259
00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:19,512
Ryan: up.

260
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,601
Ryan: You see some guys wearing some kind of

261
00:08:21,641 --> 00:08:23,327
Ryan: balaclava's mate, fucking leg it.

262
00:08:23,969 --> 00:08:26,014
Ryan: The crew turns out to be another guy and

263
00:08:26,055 --> 00:08:26,696
Ryan: two dogs.

264
00:08:27,879 --> 00:08:30,466
Ryan: Can you class two dogs as fucking crew?

265
00:08:31,549 --> 00:08:33,695
Ryan: Yeah, man, he's got my back all the time.

266
00:08:34,497 --> 00:08:35,700
Ryan: Yeah, that was a bit fucking dodgy.

267
00:08:36,723 --> 00:08:39,410
Ryan: I engage the guy who he is super friendly

268
00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:41,996
Ryan: and nice spends his time fetching things

269
00:08:42,016 --> 00:08:43,078
Ryan: for her, playing with children.

270
00:08:44,185 --> 00:08:45,328
Ryan: But what playing with children?

271
00:08:45,569 --> 00:08:47,314
Ryan: Oh, there's a big, massive barbecue.

272
00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:48,216
Ryan: Had to read that again.

273
00:08:48,586 --> 00:08:50,493
Ryan: She was like, okay, seems a bit dodgy.

274
00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:52,942
Ryan: If he's playing with kids, we know who's

275
00:08:52,982 --> 00:08:54,427
Ryan: some of the same people, which is good

276
00:08:55,029 --> 00:08:55,310
Ryan: about.

277
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,638
Ryan: After about five hours that I'm sitting

278
00:08:57,698 --> 00:08:59,786
Ryan: alone with her and ask how long have you

279
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:00,147
Ryan: known him?

280
00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:01,774
Ryan: And his name's Tim.

281
00:09:01,794 --> 00:09:02,697
Ryan: How long have you known Tim?

282
00:09:03,039 --> 00:09:04,986
Ryan: Oh, I met him through, okay, cupid, three

283
00:09:05,026 --> 00:09:05,588
Ryan: months ago.

284
00:09:05,909 --> 00:09:08,096
Ryan: He's going through a divorce and she's not

285
00:09:08,196 --> 00:09:11,446
Ryan: sure and and he's not sure as if he's going

286
00:09:11,466 --> 00:09:13,953
Ryan: to have his kids or not, and I don't want

287
00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:15,398
Ryan: to date anyone with children.

288
00:09:16,922 --> 00:09:17,524
Ryan: Shit the bed.

289
00:09:17,544 --> 00:09:21,557
Ryan: So he's a backup, so he's she's waiting to

290
00:09:21,597 --> 00:09:23,443
Ryan: see if he's gonna have his kids and then

291
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:24,586
Ryan: she's gonna snap him up with this.

292
00:09:24,626 --> 00:09:26,291
Ryan: Well, on a date with another guy.

293
00:09:26,993 --> 00:09:28,096
Ryan: What a fucking dickhead.

294
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,463
Ryan: Oh Jesus Christ.

295
00:09:30,844 --> 00:09:31,205
Ryan: What do you?

296
00:09:32,569 --> 00:09:34,755
Ryan: Oh Jesus, some people are just fucking down

297
00:09:34,795 --> 00:09:35,919
Ryan: right knobheads, aren't they?

298
00:09:36,801 --> 00:09:39,009
Ryan: At least wait, but to bring the same guy.

299
00:09:39,190 --> 00:09:40,737
Ryan: Well, to be fair, maybe she was asking for

300
00:09:40,757 --> 00:09:42,164
Ryan: some freaky shit, maybe she's into some

301
00:09:42,184 --> 00:09:43,869
Ryan: freaky shit, I know.

302
00:09:43,889 --> 00:09:44,891
Ryan: Maybe she wanted like a threesome or

303
00:09:44,911 --> 00:09:45,152
Ryan: something.

304
00:09:45,172 --> 00:09:47,017
Ryan: I don't know, but anyway, people are crazy,

305
00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:47,406
Ryan: oh.

306
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:47,846
Ryan: Ps.

307
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,051
Ryan: On the other hand, I advertised on

308
00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,957
Ryan: craigslist casual encounters for someone to

309
00:09:52,977 --> 00:09:54,806
Ryan: have freaky bdsm sex with.

310
00:09:55,487 --> 00:09:57,952
Ryan: She turned out to be pretty rational, great

311
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,636
Ryan: to talk to and fun on the sack.

312
00:10:00,097 --> 00:10:02,269
Ryan: Seven months in and we were both crazy in

313
00:10:02,289 --> 00:10:02,490
Ryan: love.

314
00:10:03,293 --> 00:10:04,939
Ryan: There you go, it's their own.

315
00:10:04,959 --> 00:10:05,862
Ryan: At the end of the day.

316
00:10:06,424 --> 00:10:08,244
Ryan: I don't recommend advertising yourself on

317
00:10:08,309 --> 00:10:08,870
Ryan: craigslist.

318
00:10:08,935 --> 00:10:10,689
Ryan: I think craigslist is like the american

319
00:10:10,754 --> 00:10:12,546
Ryan: version of fucking gum tree over here in

320
00:10:12,586 --> 00:10:13,008
Ryan: the UK.

321
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:14,915
Ryan: That's just.

322
00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:16,823
Ryan: That's a shitstorm waiting to happen.

323
00:10:16,843 --> 00:10:19,652
Ryan: That isn't it, jesus Christ.

324
00:10:19,913 --> 00:10:20,896
Ryan: But hey, it's their own.

325
00:10:21,317 --> 00:10:22,139
Ryan: Just crazy in love.

326
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,202
Ryan: Can't go wrong with it.

327
00:10:23,243 --> 00:10:24,407
Ryan: Nothing wrong with that.

328
00:10:24,488 --> 00:10:25,794
Ryan: I can't really say much about that, to be

329
00:10:25,815 --> 00:10:26,357
Ryan: fair, because it's.

330
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:27,926
Ryan: Everyone has their own sort of things.

331
00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:30,939
Ryan: Just exploring what you're into and all

332
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:34,757
Ryan: that sort of stuff, you could be like

333
00:10:34,981 --> 00:10:36,665
Ryan: completely normal, not thinking you're into

334
00:10:36,725 --> 00:10:38,351
Ryan: certain crazy bitch and stuff like that,

335
00:10:38,411 --> 00:10:40,669
Ryan: but next thing you know you might like to

336
00:10:40,689 --> 00:10:42,015
Ryan: get tied up and kicked in the balls.

337
00:10:42,336 --> 00:10:43,682
Ryan: I don't know, it's their own.

338
00:10:43,803 --> 00:10:45,829
Ryan: I'm not here to body shame or kink shame

339
00:10:45,849 --> 00:10:47,654
Ryan: you call it now am I not here to kink shame

340
00:10:47,674 --> 00:10:47,795
Ryan: anyone?

341
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:52,146
Ryan: 2024, gotta be more woke guys.

342
00:10:54,650 --> 00:10:57,155
Ryan: About four years ago, ruling from a nasty

343
00:10:57,195 --> 00:10:59,880
Ryan: breakup, I decided to give maxcom a try.

344
00:11:00,185 --> 00:11:01,850
Ryan: See, there's your first fucking thing.

345
00:11:02,071 --> 00:11:03,835
Ryan: I said this to the last episode I did with

346
00:11:03,855 --> 00:11:03,996
Ryan: this.

347
00:11:04,525 --> 00:11:06,491
Ryan: Whenever you do nasty breakups and any sort

348
00:11:06,511 --> 00:11:08,075
Ryan: of breakups, you should never jump on

349
00:11:08,115 --> 00:11:08,757
Ryan: online dating.

350
00:11:09,106 --> 00:11:10,870
Ryan: You guys are fucking idiots if you do that

351
00:11:11,592 --> 00:11:12,876
Ryan: because you're not, you have to take time

352
00:11:12,896 --> 00:11:14,247
Ryan: away to heal yourself.

353
00:11:14,669 --> 00:11:15,330
Ryan: I mean, I did it.

354
00:11:15,391 --> 00:11:16,814
Ryan: I went through a breakup before and I took

355
00:11:17,095 --> 00:11:17,336
Ryan: well.

356
00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:18,306
Ryan: I took well.

357
00:11:18,326 --> 00:11:20,614
Ryan: Still, I took about 18 months, cut it to

358
00:11:20,634 --> 00:11:23,244
Ryan: two years now away from it all, but the

359
00:11:23,284 --> 00:11:24,408
Ryan: first year I was on my own.

360
00:11:24,749 --> 00:11:26,495
Ryan: I wanted to be by myself because I wanted

361
00:11:26,515 --> 00:11:29,365
Ryan: to really be better, a better version of

362
00:11:29,425 --> 00:11:29,787
Ryan: myself.

363
00:11:29,827 --> 00:11:31,033
Ryan: You know, I didn't want to meet someone

364
00:11:31,073 --> 00:11:33,082
Ryan: while I'm still reeling from my previous

365
00:11:33,123 --> 00:11:35,311
Ryan: relationship who was a complete mental case,

366
00:11:35,331 --> 00:11:37,097
Ryan: by the way, just putting that out there

367
00:11:37,378 --> 00:11:37,739
Ryan: like him.

368
00:11:38,301 --> 00:11:40,086
Ryan: But let's fucking be honest.

369
00:11:40,106 --> 00:11:41,249
Ryan: You have to sort yourself out.

370
00:11:41,269 --> 00:11:44,957
Ryan: You have to be a better person because if

371
00:11:44,977 --> 00:11:47,052
Ryan: you don't, it's not fair in the person

372
00:11:47,072 --> 00:11:47,413
Ryan: you're meeting.

373
00:11:47,454 --> 00:11:49,022
Ryan: If you're still broken from a previous

374
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,450
Ryan: relationship and you go and meet someone

375
00:11:50,490 --> 00:11:51,053
Ryan: else, just hang up.

376
00:11:51,074 --> 00:11:51,838
Ryan: It's not fair on them.

377
00:11:52,401 --> 00:11:53,808
Ryan: You know you'll be the best version of

378
00:11:53,828 --> 00:11:54,249
Ryan: yourself.

379
00:11:54,390 --> 00:11:57,322
Ryan: Then go meet someone else, then it's great,

380
00:11:57,522 --> 00:11:58,145
Ryan: then you'll be happy.

381
00:11:58,225 --> 00:11:59,331
Ryan: A lot of people don't understand that.

382
00:11:59,412 --> 00:12:01,362
Ryan: Stop jumping from fucking relationship to

383
00:12:01,403 --> 00:12:01,845
Ryan: relationship.

384
00:12:02,006 --> 00:12:02,869
Ryan: Your mental cases.

385
00:12:03,491 --> 00:12:05,819
Ryan: Have fun, enjoy your life, enjoy your own

386
00:12:05,839 --> 00:12:07,685
Ryan: time, experience new hobbies.

387
00:12:08,447 --> 00:12:10,532
Ryan: Play about a PlayStation or Xbox, whatever

388
00:12:10,552 --> 00:12:10,913
Ryan: you want.

389
00:12:11,213 --> 00:12:12,637
Ryan: Go and meet some new people, get some

390
00:12:12,677 --> 00:12:13,118
Ryan: hobbies.

391
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,651
Ryan: You never know what you might find there.

392
00:12:16,671 --> 00:12:19,096
Ryan: You go, write that down, take that to

393
00:12:19,116 --> 00:12:19,537
Ryan: yourself.

394
00:12:19,898 --> 00:12:21,206
Ryan: Anyway, anyway, we'll worry.

395
00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:23,148
Ryan: So yeah, just thanks for getting me to get

396
00:12:23,168 --> 00:12:23,708
Ryan: Mike'scom a try.

397
00:12:23,748 --> 00:12:24,989
Ryan: I've already knew this is going to go

398
00:12:25,009 --> 00:12:25,330
Ryan: downhill.

399
00:12:26,252 --> 00:12:28,016
Ryan: A couple weeks after signing up, I received

400
00:12:28,077 --> 00:12:29,781
Ryan: a message from a guy named Justin.

401
00:12:30,251 --> 00:12:32,097
Ryan: They always say people's names with J is

402
00:12:32,157 --> 00:12:32,820
Ryan: for the red flag.

403
00:12:33,532 --> 00:12:35,479
Ryan: He was cute and just my type.

404
00:12:35,871 --> 00:12:36,795
Ryan: We set up a date.

405
00:12:37,411 --> 00:12:39,096
Ryan: We got along really well in person and

406
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,841
Ryan: ended up going on a couple more dates.

407
00:12:41,271 --> 00:12:42,897
Ryan: It seemed like everything was going well.

408
00:12:43,331 --> 00:12:44,355
Ryan: Okay, starting off right.

409
00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:49,359
Ryan: Justin lived next town from me and it was

410
00:12:49,399 --> 00:12:51,123
Ryan: my turn to drive to him for a day.

411
00:12:51,711 --> 00:12:53,896
Ryan: We headed over to Dave and Busters and had

412
00:12:53,936 --> 00:12:55,900
Ryan: a great time playing air hockey and dance

413
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:56,882
Ryan: dance revolution.

414
00:12:57,792 --> 00:12:59,477
Ryan: Who doesn't have a great time playing dance

415
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:00,340
Ryan: dance revolution?

416
00:13:00,911 --> 00:13:02,395
Ryan: If you don't like that game, there's

417
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:03,619
Ryan: something wrong with you, because it's a

418
00:13:03,639 --> 00:13:04,060
Ryan: great game.

419
00:13:04,270 --> 00:13:05,554
Ryan: Have a few beers, have a few drinks,

420
00:13:05,594 --> 00:13:06,997
Ryan: cocktails, play that game.

421
00:13:07,198 --> 00:13:10,738
Ryan: Tell you Get fucking six pack abs in the

422
00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:11,582
Ryan: space of six weeks.

423
00:13:11,622 --> 00:13:12,647
Ryan: I swear no one does that.

424
00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:16,720
Ryan: I almost put that on these fitness gurus.

425
00:13:17,354 --> 00:13:18,229
Ryan: I love to see a fitness guru.

426
00:13:18,691 --> 00:13:19,553
Ryan: You scroll through Instagram.

427
00:13:19,573 --> 00:13:21,498
Ryan: They're like how to get six packs abs in

428
00:13:21,518 --> 00:13:24,285
Ryan: the six weeks by doing a thousand crunches

429
00:13:24,511 --> 00:13:27,238
Ryan: and jumping over a wall 10 times and

430
00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:28,421
Ryan: bouncing on your head.

431
00:13:29,091 --> 00:13:31,136
Ryan: Why does no one just recommend just play

432
00:13:31,156 --> 00:13:33,882
Ryan: dance dance revolution, build body workout.

433
00:13:34,011 --> 00:13:34,653
Ryan: You get involved.

434
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:37,277
Ryan: Yeah, I'm out.

435
00:13:37,337 --> 00:13:38,080
Ryan: I'll give my all to something.

436
00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:38,652
Ryan: I might try that.

437
00:13:39,590 --> 00:13:41,737
Ryan: Then we decided to head back to his place

438
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:42,539
Ryan: to watch a movie.

439
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:45,217
Ryan: We kissed a couple of times and Justin was

440
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:46,200
Ryan: an excellent kisser.

441
00:13:46,671 --> 00:13:48,677
Ryan: I was looking forward to cuddling and more

442
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:51,636
Ryan: kissing, but first we decided to stop off

443
00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:54,122
Ryan: at the 7-Eleven for some munchies like that.

444
00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:55,114
Ryan: Get stocked up.

445
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:57,317
Ryan: You never know what's going to happen.

446
00:13:57,397 --> 00:13:59,775
Ryan: After we gathered up a couple of sodas and

447
00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:01,681
Ryan: some candy and took them up to the register

448
00:14:02,712 --> 00:14:04,416
Ryan: $6.66, said the cashier.

449
00:14:04,797 --> 00:14:07,272
Ryan: As I pulled out my wallet to pay, justin

450
00:14:07,332 --> 00:14:08,195
Ryan: gasped loudly.

451
00:14:09,310 --> 00:14:12,218
Ryan: We can't possibly leave the total at $6.66.

452
00:14:12,338 --> 00:14:15,496
Ryan: He exclaimed that's the mark of the devil.

453
00:14:15,616 --> 00:14:15,998
Ryan: I knew it.

454
00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:18,335
Ryan: He's going to be some sort of Bible basher

455
00:14:18,396 --> 00:14:20,353
Ryan: or some Christian Sure, I shouldn't say

456
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,193
Ryan: Bible basher now Some sort of Christian.

457
00:14:22,253 --> 00:14:25,172
Ryan: And looking at a religious guy, I just

458
00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:25,494
Ryan: laughed.

459
00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:27,897
Ryan: But Justin got a very serious look at his

460
00:14:27,957 --> 00:14:28,218
Ryan: face.

461
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,276
Ryan: If we leave the total like that, we're

462
00:14:31,296 --> 00:14:33,260
Ryan: going to get a car accident on the way home

463
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:33,781
Ryan: and die.

464
00:14:34,121 --> 00:14:35,974
Ryan: Holy shit, this guy's mental.

465
00:14:37,513 --> 00:14:39,237
Ryan: At this point I felt like he was being

466
00:14:39,257 --> 00:14:39,879
Ryan: ridiculous.

467
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,436
Ryan: Fine, grab something else if it bothers you

468
00:14:42,476 --> 00:14:42,897
Ryan: that much.

469
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,236
Ryan: He threw a York peppermint patty on the

470
00:14:45,277 --> 00:14:45,638
Ryan: counter.

471
00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:47,272
Ryan: I was satisfied with.

472
00:14:47,293 --> 00:14:50,160
Ryan: The total became 742 and we headed back to

473
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:50,681
Ryan: his place.

474
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,473
Ryan: I'm like yeah, what's he that all these

475
00:14:52,513 --> 00:14:54,198
Ryan: fucking American people talk about?

476
00:14:54,258 --> 00:14:55,762
Ryan: All these different sort of sweets and

477
00:14:55,802 --> 00:14:56,002
Ryan: stuff.

478
00:14:56,090 --> 00:14:58,438
Ryan: I have no idea what they are after picking

479
00:14:58,498 --> 00:14:58,960
Ryan: up a movie.

480
00:14:59,090 --> 00:15:00,956
Ryan: We grabbed our bag of snacks and plop down

481
00:15:00,976 --> 00:15:01,457
Ryan: in his bed.

482
00:15:01,798 --> 00:15:02,260
Ryan: There we go.

483
00:15:02,790 --> 00:15:04,697
Ryan: I proceeded to take off my shoes and get

484
00:15:04,757 --> 00:15:06,816
Ryan: comfortable, but Justin gasped again.

485
00:15:07,610 --> 00:15:10,457
Ryan: Oh my God, he said, are those the socks

486
00:15:10,497 --> 00:15:11,560
Ryan: with separate toes?

487
00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:13,975
Ryan: Those really freak me out.

488
00:15:14,550 --> 00:15:16,658
Ryan: I looked down at my straight toe socks.

489
00:15:16,930 --> 00:15:18,555
Ryan: How could anyone be freaked out by

490
00:15:18,595 --> 00:15:19,578
Ryan: something so goofy?

491
00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:23,237
Ryan: Seriously, he said, I can't handle those

492
00:15:23,278 --> 00:15:23,619
Ryan: socks.

493
00:15:24,210 --> 00:15:25,877
Ryan: They really, really bothered me.

494
00:15:26,271 --> 00:15:26,960
Ryan: I'm not going to lie to you.

495
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:29,075
Ryan: Whoever wears their socks is a fucking

496
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:29,497
Ryan: nutcase.

497
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,639
Ryan: Who wears socks like that?

498
00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:34,698
Ryan: Just wear normal socks like a normal person.

499
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:36,396
Ryan: Why do you have to have individual toes,

500
00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:39,336
Ryan: your toes, that cold tip, et cetera.

501
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,880
Ryan: You have to have little individual, little

502
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:44,297
Ryan: bits for them and plus, that must be a pair

503
00:15:44,337 --> 00:15:45,280
Ryan: in the ass to put them on.

504
00:15:45,791 --> 00:15:46,554
Ryan: Absolute nightmare.

505
00:15:47,130 --> 00:15:55,423
Ryan: I don't know how people do it so, so

506
00:15:55,443 --> 00:15:56,889
Ryan: seriously, he said I can't handle socks.

507
00:15:57,210 --> 00:15:58,235
Ryan: They really, really bother me.

508
00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:00,315
Ryan: I just looked at him and leaned back on the

509
00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:00,596
Ryan: bed.

510
00:16:01,118 --> 00:16:02,041
Ryan: I was already over it.

511
00:16:02,612 --> 00:16:05,162
Ryan: Did I know Justin was just getting started?

512
00:16:05,182 --> 00:16:06,347
Ryan: Oh, he's going to go crazy.

513
00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:07,070
Ryan: He's going to be mental.

514
00:16:07,813 --> 00:16:10,497
Ryan: Oh my God, he claimed I could see that,

515
00:16:10,517 --> 00:16:11,864
Ryan: with the light had just gone off on his

516
00:16:11,924 --> 00:16:12,185
Ryan: head.

517
00:16:12,628 --> 00:16:13,070
Ryan: I get it now.

518
00:16:15,257 --> 00:16:15,839
Ryan: You're a witch.

519
00:16:16,231 --> 00:16:19,564
Ryan: It all makes sense.

520
00:16:20,227 --> 00:16:20,809
Ryan: Come again.

521
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,622
Ryan: I asked it all makes sense.

522
00:16:22,945 --> 00:16:23,550
Ryan: You're a black cat.

523
00:16:23,992 --> 00:16:24,916
Ryan: You're a love of bats.

524
00:16:25,191 --> 00:16:27,335
Ryan: You're stripy white socks and you weren't

525
00:16:27,395 --> 00:16:28,905
Ryan: even bothered by the $6.66.

526
00:16:29,872 --> 00:16:30,538
Ryan: Are you a witch?

527
00:16:31,606 --> 00:16:31,949
Ryan: Get real.

528
00:16:31,969 --> 00:16:33,570
Ryan: I said I'm not a fucking witch.

529
00:16:33,974 --> 00:16:35,529
Ryan: But I could see the guy was serious.

530
00:16:36,012 --> 00:16:37,558
Ryan: How can you take that serious?

531
00:16:37,811 --> 00:16:39,959
Ryan: How can you be serious in this situation?

532
00:16:40,512 --> 00:16:41,737
Ryan: Well, I think you're a witch, he said.

533
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,776
Ryan: And can you please take off your socks?

534
00:16:43,796 --> 00:16:44,739
Ryan: They're really bothering me.

535
00:16:45,211 --> 00:16:46,479
Ryan: He's got fucking issues about this.

536
00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:48,050
Ryan: I'm not taking off my damn socks.

537
00:16:48,231 --> 00:16:49,276
Ryan: I replied you're being silly.

538
00:16:49,939 --> 00:16:50,643
Ryan: I can't help it.

539
00:16:50,683 --> 00:16:52,030
Ryan: Those socks really freak me out.

540
00:16:52,292 --> 00:16:54,090
Ryan: I'll do anything for them to take them off.

541
00:16:54,551 --> 00:16:56,518
Ryan: I'll pay you to take them off, any amount

542
00:16:57,341 --> 00:16:57,883
Ryan: You'll pay me.

543
00:16:57,963 --> 00:16:58,906
Ryan: I asked yes.

544
00:16:59,187 --> 00:17:01,295
Ryan: He replied Fine, pay me $6.66.

545
00:17:03,415 --> 00:17:04,038
Ryan: He cleared at me.

546
00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:05,616
Ryan: I packed up my stuff and left.

547
00:17:06,230 --> 00:17:07,857
Ryan: That was the last I ever saw of Justin.

548
00:17:08,411 --> 00:17:10,295
Ryan: Yes, because Justin has now been placed

549
00:17:10,335 --> 00:17:13,161
Ryan: into a psychiatric ward or a covenant or

550
00:17:13,522 --> 00:17:13,983
Ryan: somewhere.

551
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,217
Ryan: That's basically like what the fuck is

552
00:17:16,257 --> 00:17:16,719
Ryan: going on.

553
00:17:17,492 --> 00:17:18,174
Ryan: He's a witch.

554
00:17:19,492 --> 00:17:21,038
Ryan: There are some crazy people out there.

555
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:22,737
Ryan: Guys, witches aren't real.

556
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:24,520
Ryan: I don't know if they're real.

557
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:24,922
Ryan: Actually.

558
00:17:25,264 --> 00:17:26,090
Ryan: You get like different.

559
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,658
Ryan: We do get like crazy white witches.

560
00:17:28,739 --> 00:17:30,278
Ryan: Now, not being racist, they're entered but

561
00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:31,587
Ryan: they're actually called white witches, like

562
00:17:31,627 --> 00:17:34,077
Ryan: the good witches or the crystals and all

563
00:17:34,097 --> 00:17:36,713
Ryan: that sort of stuff, and they work.

564
00:17:36,813 --> 00:17:39,819
Ryan: I don't know, it's like strawgy, is that a

565
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:40,060
Ryan: thing?

566
00:17:40,401 --> 00:17:41,683
Ryan: Fucking craziness, I don't know.

567
00:17:42,431 --> 00:17:44,617
Ryan: So this is a point of the show that I'd

568
00:17:44,657 --> 00:17:47,013
Ryan: like to kind of mix up a little bit, and

569
00:17:47,053 --> 00:17:48,879
Ryan: we've asked some a couple of different

570
00:17:48,919 --> 00:17:49,301
Ryan: questions.

571
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,528
Ryan: Instead of like horror stories and all that

572
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,374
Ryan: sort of side of things, I want to go out

573
00:17:53,414 --> 00:17:55,874
Ryan: there and put out some like red flags, Some

574
00:17:55,894 --> 00:17:58,246
Ryan: like what is your date in red flags and all

575
00:17:58,266 --> 00:17:59,551
Ryan: that sort of side of stuff, because I think

576
00:17:59,591 --> 00:18:00,755
Ryan: that's quite funny, because people have got

577
00:18:00,795 --> 00:18:02,339
Ryan: some crazy weird red flags.

578
00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:05,096
Ryan: They're ridiculous ones, you know, and

579
00:18:06,078 --> 00:18:07,531
Ryan: taking over them, if you've got them,

580
00:18:07,692 --> 00:18:08,615
Ryan: that's a massive red flag.

581
00:18:08,996 --> 00:18:09,960
Ryan: I feel sorry for you.

582
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:13,411
Ryan: So so here we go Right now.

583
00:18:13,451 --> 00:18:15,336
Ryan: On a second or third day, I would openly

584
00:18:15,396 --> 00:18:18,170
Ryan: state an effort to remain as transparent as

585
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,118
Ryan: possible and also to let you know in

586
00:18:20,158 --> 00:18:22,528
Ryan: advance if this relationship goes a

587
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:25,060
Ryan: distance and we choose to ever get married,

588
00:18:25,502 --> 00:18:27,090
Ryan: there will be a pre-natural agreement.

589
00:18:27,651 --> 00:18:29,113
Ryan: I will not get married without one.

590
00:18:31,613 --> 00:18:34,384
Ryan: What the fuck Are you fucking for real.

591
00:18:34,584 --> 00:18:36,670
Ryan: This guy thinks he's this is a red flag for

592
00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:37,051
Ryan: the guy.

593
00:18:38,222 --> 00:18:39,606
Ryan: And the second or third day and you're

594
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:40,829
Ryan: asking him what are we gonna get a prenup?

595
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,584
Ryan: Jesus Christ, he goes into detail of it.

596
00:18:43,604 --> 00:18:43,905
Ryan: Why?

597
00:18:43,985 --> 00:18:46,029
Ryan: But Jesus, nah, that's a red flag in the

598
00:18:46,049 --> 00:18:46,490
Ryan: first place.

599
00:18:46,511 --> 00:18:47,913
Ryan: If you're asking questions like that,

600
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:52,043
Ryan: especially very early on, jesus, that's

601
00:18:52,143 --> 00:18:53,505
Ryan: mental, absolutely.

602
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,331
Ryan: I hope that girl who, I hope he's still

603
00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:57,553
Ryan: single because he doesn't deserve to have

604
00:18:57,613 --> 00:18:58,214
Ryan: anyone after that.

605
00:18:58,640 --> 00:18:59,943
Ryan: This is the problem a lot of people with

606
00:18:59,963 --> 00:19:01,365
Ryan: these sort of red flags at the minute.

607
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,729
Ryan: It's because of what's happened previously

608
00:19:03,790 --> 00:19:06,094
Ryan: in them and their previous relationships

609
00:19:06,134 --> 00:19:07,924
Ryan: and stuff they hold on to them so straight

610
00:19:07,964 --> 00:19:09,508
Ryan: away they think it's a red flag, but it's

611
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:10,511
Ryan: not necessarily.

612
00:19:10,881 --> 00:19:12,565
Ryan: It's because one person does something to

613
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,691
Ryan: you doesn't mean the whole world is gonna

614
00:19:14,711 --> 00:19:14,932
Ryan: do it.

615
00:19:15,301 --> 00:19:16,425
Ryan: The next guy you meet is gonna do it.

616
00:19:16,465 --> 00:19:17,248
Ryan: Everyone's different.

617
00:19:17,620 --> 00:19:19,664
Ryan: Yeah, you might have been fucked over in

618
00:19:19,684 --> 00:19:21,568
Ryan: the past by someone who's I don't know

619
00:19:21,929 --> 00:19:23,793
Ryan: doesn't listen to you properly.

620
00:19:24,321 --> 00:19:26,886
Ryan: So is that a red flag in the future for

621
00:19:26,906 --> 00:19:27,186
Ryan: someone?

622
00:19:27,206 --> 00:19:28,830
Ryan: Maybe just people, just maybe you need to

623
00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:30,493
Ryan: be more interesting than people listen to

624
00:19:30,533 --> 00:19:30,633
Ryan: you.

625
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:32,322
Ryan: Yeah, you haven't thought about that.

626
00:19:32,683 --> 00:19:33,685
Ryan: It's not everyone else's fault.

627
00:19:34,046 --> 00:19:36,510
Ryan: Sometimes look to yourself, have a little,

628
00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:38,013
Ryan: look to yourself and then come back and

629
00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:38,454
Ryan: talk to us.

630
00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:39,683
Ryan: Yeah, job done.

631
00:19:41,301 --> 00:19:41,844
Ryan: There's another one.

632
00:19:42,145 --> 00:19:44,335
Ryan: No interest about me, my family, hobbies

633
00:19:44,536 --> 00:19:46,162
Ryan: and my friend's circle yeah, good shout,

634
00:19:46,202 --> 00:19:47,887
Ryan: you gotta yeah, you gotta be interested in

635
00:19:48,569 --> 00:19:49,271
Ryan: the other person.

636
00:19:50,021 --> 00:19:51,364
Ryan: I went on a date once and the girl just

637
00:19:51,384 --> 00:19:52,827
Ryan: kept talking about herself all the time,

638
00:19:52,867 --> 00:19:54,270
Ryan: similar to the teacher one I talked to you

639
00:19:54,291 --> 00:19:57,090
Ryan: before she did was talk about herself and

640
00:19:57,131 --> 00:19:58,379
Ryan: how awesome she is and blah, blah, blah.

641
00:19:58,961 --> 00:20:01,004
Ryan: Didn't really get to know me very well at

642
00:20:01,104 --> 00:20:03,348
Ryan: all, and I think that's a little bit of a

643
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,931
Ryan: shitter really, to be honest, because it's

644
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,915
Ryan: like I've got a life as well.

645
00:20:07,281 --> 00:20:08,163
Ryan: I'm just as good as you.

646
00:20:08,344 --> 00:20:09,909
Ryan: Actually, I'm better than you, yeah, biatch.

647
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:12,484
Ryan: So yeah, being very selfish in that

648
00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:14,148
Ryan: scenario, yes, don't talk to other people,

649
00:20:14,188 --> 00:20:15,431
Ryan: I'll get that one, I'll get that one.

650
00:20:16,881 --> 00:20:18,906
Ryan: Getting attached and wanting to spend a lot

651
00:20:18,946 --> 00:20:21,011
Ryan: of time together immediately after meeting,

652
00:20:21,841 --> 00:20:23,885
Ryan: almost every guy I've met since I started

653
00:20:23,965 --> 00:20:26,390
Ryan: dating two years ago wants to spend every

654
00:20:26,430 --> 00:20:28,053
Ryan: day together after the second date.

655
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:29,882
Ryan: I wish I was exaggerating.

656
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,848
Ryan: It could be a COVID, it could be because of

657
00:20:32,888 --> 00:20:35,032
Ryan: COVID, but I experienced a bit of it in my

658
00:20:35,312 --> 00:20:36,254
Ryan: earlier days as well.

659
00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:39,127
Ryan: One guy even proposed to me proposed oh, I

660
00:20:39,147 --> 00:20:40,150
Ryan: thought you said proposed to me.

661
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:42,703
Ryan: One guy even proposed we work from home

662
00:20:42,723 --> 00:20:44,967
Ryan: together when planning out a third date,

663
00:20:45,488 --> 00:20:47,230
Ryan: like he wanted to go to dinner, have a

664
00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:49,093
Ryan: sleepover and work from home together the

665
00:20:49,133 --> 00:20:49,514
Ryan: next day.

666
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:51,902
Ryan: That's quite a nice thing, isn't it?

667
00:20:52,323 --> 00:20:54,247
Ryan: I had to tell I wasn't interested in going

668
00:20:54,307 --> 00:20:57,052
Ryan: out anymore because it felt way too intense,

669
00:20:57,072 --> 00:20:59,422
Ryan: for having met the week before Another guy

670
00:20:59,462 --> 00:21:01,606
Ryan: I saw for a few months wanted to spend four

671
00:21:01,646 --> 00:21:02,488
Ryan: days a week together.

672
00:21:02,568 --> 00:21:06,221
Ryan: By the second week after meeting I said

673
00:21:06,241 --> 00:21:07,043
Ryan: this one I don't know.

674
00:21:08,064 --> 00:21:10,228
Ryan: You do meet people and they do have

675
00:21:10,308 --> 00:21:12,652
Ryan: different ways of dealing, different ways

676
00:21:12,712 --> 00:21:13,994
Ryan: of dating, different ways they are.

677
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,663
Ryan: Some people want to spend time with you,

678
00:21:15,763 --> 00:21:16,605
Ryan: some people are needy.

679
00:21:16,645 --> 00:21:18,028
Ryan: They like spending time with the person

680
00:21:18,048 --> 00:21:18,709
Ryan: they're interested in.

681
00:21:18,729 --> 00:21:19,551
Ryan: There's nothing wrong with that.

682
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:21,042
Ryan: Is it healthy?

683
00:21:21,122 --> 00:21:23,731
Ryan: Possibly not, but if that's the case and

684
00:21:23,751 --> 00:21:25,296
Ryan: you're not like that, yeah, I can imagine

685
00:21:25,316 --> 00:21:26,480
Ryan: that would be a bit of a shitter.

686
00:21:26,901 --> 00:21:29,886
Ryan: I went out with a needy girl before Because

687
00:21:30,147 --> 00:21:31,148
Ryan: I'm a bit independent.

688
00:21:31,188 --> 00:21:33,072
Ryan: You know I'm a bit of an independent person.

689
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:35,081
Ryan: I let you have me on time and it's good.

690
00:21:35,101 --> 00:21:36,524
Ryan: I want to do my own thing, but being by

691
00:21:36,985 --> 00:21:40,011
Ryan: someone like constantly on your case 24-7

692
00:21:40,031 --> 00:21:41,835
Ryan: and want to spend every waking minute of

693
00:21:41,855 --> 00:21:42,937
Ryan: the day with you.

694
00:21:42,957 --> 00:21:44,320
Ryan: Yeah, it's a bit too much of that.

695
00:21:45,402 --> 00:21:46,444
Ryan: Calm yourself down, guys.

696
00:21:46,464 --> 00:21:47,767
Ryan: A lot of better self-respect.

697
00:21:48,228 --> 00:21:49,772
Ryan: See, that's probably insecure from the guys.

698
00:21:51,362 --> 00:21:53,126
Ryan: She's probably tapping into some insecure

699
00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:54,549
Ryan: guys, so maybe she's attracting the wrong

700
00:21:54,569 --> 00:21:54,830
Ryan: people.

701
00:21:55,210 --> 00:21:56,834
Ryan: Maybe she's insecure herself.

702
00:21:57,175 --> 00:21:58,518
Ryan: God, there's so much insecurity in this

703
00:21:58,538 --> 00:21:58,758
Ryan: world.

704
00:21:59,300 --> 00:21:59,520
Ryan: It's crazy.

705
00:22:00,282 --> 00:22:01,124
Ryan: But yeah, you never know.

706
00:22:01,865 --> 00:22:03,990
Ryan: Using only short sentences under five words

707
00:22:04,411 --> 00:22:06,195
Ryan: well, I'll take that through texting asking

708
00:22:06,235 --> 00:22:08,219
Ryan: me to come over before we have met in

709
00:22:08,259 --> 00:22:08,460
Ryan: person.

710
00:22:09,241 --> 00:22:09,942
Ryan: Oh, yeah, exactly.

711
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:13,306
Ryan: Yeah, you don't do that.

712
00:22:13,907 --> 00:22:15,690
Ryan: And finding my social media profiles

713
00:22:15,710 --> 00:22:17,632
Ryan: without me having told you my usernames?

714
00:22:17,953 --> 00:22:20,256
Ryan: Yeah, that's a bit of a mental one.

715
00:22:21,902 --> 00:22:23,264
Ryan: I can understand the short sentences.

716
00:22:23,504 --> 00:22:25,587
Ryan: I get that under five words.

717
00:22:25,747 --> 00:22:27,290
Ryan: It's like come on, be a bit more

718
00:22:27,570 --> 00:22:28,952
Ryan: enthusiastic about texting me.

719
00:22:29,072 --> 00:22:30,094
Ryan: I mean, text is bullshit.

720
00:22:30,114 --> 00:22:31,395
Ryan: I'm not a hate fucking texting people.

721
00:22:31,861 --> 00:22:32,984
Ryan: It's like it's a pain in the arse, innit.

722
00:22:33,565 --> 00:22:34,708
Ryan: It's like when you're doing it, you're just

723
00:22:34,748 --> 00:22:36,532
Ryan: like oh God, yes, my day is good.

724
00:22:36,573 --> 00:22:37,294
Ryan: How is your day?

725
00:22:37,816 --> 00:22:39,460
Ryan: Fuck hell, it's a nightmare.

726
00:22:39,921 --> 00:22:40,843
Ryan: Yes, I was at work.

727
00:22:41,144 --> 00:22:42,106
Ryan: What have you done today?

728
00:22:42,748 --> 00:22:43,991
Ryan: Why did this sound like Stephen Hawking?

729
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,045
Ryan: Um, asking me to come over before we have

730
00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:47,706
Ryan: met in person?

731
00:22:48,027 --> 00:22:51,935
Ryan: Definitely Girls are like why are people

732
00:22:52,155 --> 00:22:52,997
Ryan: actually doing that.

733
00:22:53,398 --> 00:22:54,520
Ryan: That's so fucking dangerous.

734
00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:56,464
Ryan: You're going round to a guy's house.

735
00:22:56,565 --> 00:22:58,128
Ryan: I can imagine a lot of guys do it.

736
00:22:58,148 --> 00:22:59,491
Ryan: Well, guys have definitely offered it.

737
00:22:59,511 --> 00:23:00,855
Ryan: If a girl, the thing is right.

738
00:23:00,875 --> 00:23:05,508
Ryan: When a girl agrees to go to a guy's house

739
00:23:05,568 --> 00:23:06,089
Ryan: is dangerous.

740
00:23:06,661 --> 00:23:07,806
Ryan: I was like, oh no, you shouldn't do that.

741
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,667
Ryan: But when you could absolutely around.

742
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,607
Ryan: If a girl invites a guy over, it's fucking

743
00:23:11,627 --> 00:23:13,345
Ryan: game on and he's like, yeah, he's there in

744
00:23:13,385 --> 00:23:15,486
Ryan: a flash, he's like, fuck, yeah, I'm getting

745
00:23:15,506 --> 00:23:15,788
Ryan: some.

746
00:23:15,860 --> 00:23:18,488
Ryan: Yeah, but the other way around it is not

747
00:23:18,529 --> 00:23:18,729
Ryan: right.

748
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,164
Ryan: But yeah, don't do it anyway.

749
00:23:20,405 --> 00:23:21,087
Ryan: Fucking crazy.

750
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,265
Ryan: I can't give you a serial killer.

751
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:23,504
Ryan: Can you completely mental?

752
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,908
Ryan: Definitely finding social media profiles

753
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,386
Ryan: without me having told you my usernames?

754
00:23:27,460 --> 00:23:28,525
Ryan: That's fucking creepy.

755
00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:30,902
Ryan: That is very creepy, especially if not met

756
00:23:30,963 --> 00:23:34,021
Ryan: each other and they found out what your

757
00:23:34,041 --> 00:23:36,342
Ryan: social media handles and then they decided

758
00:23:36,362 --> 00:23:37,285
Ryan: to fucking follow you.

759
00:23:37,927 --> 00:23:39,063
Ryan: Oh my God, I've had that.

760
00:23:39,628 --> 00:23:40,779
Ryan: I don't know if I've had that a few times.

761
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,048
Ryan: I've had that a few times on Instagram.

762
00:23:43,220 --> 00:23:45,383
Ryan: You know, when you can see a story, they

763
00:23:45,444 --> 00:23:45,604
Ryan: don't.

764
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:46,307
Ryan: This is what I mean.

765
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,465
Ryan: I find a little bit strange.

766
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,320
Ryan: You know, when you get your stories and

767
00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:51,568
Ryan: people can see your stories, but they don't

768
00:23:51,608 --> 00:23:51,929
Ryan: follow you.

769
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:53,525
Ryan: They're at the bottom, you can see who's

770
00:23:53,847 --> 00:23:54,188
Ryan: what's them.

771
00:23:54,620 --> 00:23:56,066
Ryan: I've had a few times I've had a few people

772
00:23:56,540 --> 00:23:58,924
Ryan: that I went out and dates with and, yeah,

773
00:23:58,944 --> 00:23:59,647
Ryan: they've followed me.

774
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:01,285
Ryan: No, they've actually not followed me.

775
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,545
Ryan: But looked at my story I was like, okay,

776
00:24:03,565 --> 00:24:04,779
Ryan: what are you stalking?

777
00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:06,080
Ryan: What are you doing?

778
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:06,683
Ryan: You wanna follow me?

779
00:24:06,703 --> 00:24:08,583
Ryan: Follow me, don't need to stalk my stories,

780
00:24:09,627 --> 00:24:10,109
Ryan: craziness.

781
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,887
Ryan: But then you get the crazy DMs.

782
00:24:12,927 --> 00:24:14,171
Ryan: Or how was your night last night?

783
00:24:14,421 --> 00:24:14,742
Ryan: I saw you.

784
00:24:14,842 --> 00:24:16,107
Ryan: They don't say that you saw your story.

785
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,265
Ryan: Have you seen something different?

786
00:24:17,420 --> 00:24:18,565
Ryan: Oh yeah, I just chatted with some friends.

787
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:20,103
Ryan: But even though you're out with your

788
00:24:20,143 --> 00:24:22,224
Ryan: friends, it's just how I'm chilling out oh,

789
00:24:22,244 --> 00:24:23,461
Ryan: okay, they get really funny because you

790
00:24:23,481 --> 00:24:25,631
Ryan: think you're bullshit Crazy.

791
00:24:25,660 --> 00:24:28,966
Ryan: Yeah, as someone who's dating a girl, I met

792
00:24:29,046 --> 00:24:29,789
Ryan: a psych ward.

793
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:33,543
Ryan: I just wanna read that again.

794
00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:37,387
Ryan: As someone who's dating a girl, I met at a

795
00:24:37,407 --> 00:24:38,110
Ryan: psych ward.

796
00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:40,067
Ryan: I think red flags is relative.

797
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,640
Ryan: The red, the psych ward is a red flag for

798
00:24:45,781 --> 00:24:47,026
Ryan: almost anyone I know.

799
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,403
Ryan: No fucking shit, holy shit.

800
00:24:51,641 --> 00:24:52,899
Ryan: Of course there's a fucking red flag.

801
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,026
Ryan: You've met a girl at a fucking mental

802
00:24:55,066 --> 00:24:58,267
Ryan: hospital, but I met the sweetest, prettiest

803
00:24:58,380 --> 00:24:59,946
Ryan: and most caring girl in there.

804
00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:03,000
Ryan: I find people with no life experience to be

805
00:25:03,021 --> 00:25:03,965
Ryan: harder to talk with.

806
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:07,928
Ryan: My best friends are people I can confide in.

807
00:25:08,460 --> 00:25:10,167
Ryan: Me and my girlfriend have no secrets.

808
00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:11,625
Ryan: I guess that's important.

809
00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:12,862
Ryan: Dishonesty.

810
00:25:13,083 --> 00:25:15,401
Ryan: People with zero ambitions in life and have

811
00:25:15,441 --> 00:25:17,861
Ryan: no desire to go out and do things as some

812
00:25:18,001 --> 00:25:19,868
Ryan: obvious red flags from the top of my head.

813
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:22,727
Ryan: The psych ward is not necessary a deal

814
00:25:22,747 --> 00:25:23,429
Ryan: breaker for me.

815
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:26,183
Ryan: Be careful, of course, but I like to get to

816
00:25:26,203 --> 00:25:29,204
Ryan: know the actual person before labelling

817
00:25:29,244 --> 00:25:29,364
Ryan: them.

818
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,625
Ryan: She's gonna fucking murder you.

819
00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:33,945
Ryan: She's gonna fucking kill you in your sleep.

820
00:25:34,527 --> 00:25:37,264
Ryan: Run away, fuck's sake, man.

821
00:25:37,766 --> 00:25:38,207
Ryan: Imagine that.

822
00:25:38,700 --> 00:25:40,968
Ryan: Imagine you walk around, you go and your

823
00:25:41,008 --> 00:25:43,888
Ryan: friends or your loved ones got your family.

824
00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:45,004
Ryan: So where did you guys meet?

825
00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:46,765
Ryan: Oh, we met in the fucking loony bin.

826
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,106
Ryan: We met at the psychiatric ward just around

827
00:25:49,126 --> 00:25:49,527
Ryan: the corner.

828
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,323
Ryan: And she's sitting there in the corner

829
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:52,345
Ryan: eating fucking crayons.

830
00:25:52,626 --> 00:25:53,428
Ryan: You know what I mean?

831
00:25:53,448 --> 00:25:54,891
Ryan: Oh, okay, she seems lovely.

832
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,065
Ryan: She's gonna fucking stab you in your sleep.

833
00:25:58,820 --> 00:25:59,402
Ryan: Run away, man.

834
00:26:00,486 --> 00:26:01,309
Ryan: Here's another red flag.

835
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,748
Ryan: If the person who knows you goes cold and

836
00:26:03,828 --> 00:26:06,807
Ryan: silent then comes back when she or he needs

837
00:26:06,847 --> 00:26:07,349
Ryan: attention.

838
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:08,964
Ryan: Oh yeah, oh yeah.

839
00:26:09,004 --> 00:26:10,048
Ryan: These are the fucking.

840
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:10,923
Ryan: That's a belter.

841
00:26:11,044 --> 00:26:11,807
Ryan: That is a belter.

842
00:26:12,260 --> 00:26:13,763
Ryan: I've actually had that recently, to be

843
00:26:13,823 --> 00:26:14,124
Ryan: honest.

844
00:26:16,129 --> 00:26:17,732
Ryan: That's a true story, actually, it happened

845
00:26:17,752 --> 00:26:17,953
Ryan: to me.

846
00:26:18,220 --> 00:26:18,662
Ryan: What we are now.

847
00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:19,626
Ryan: We're all fucking sons.

848
00:26:19,780 --> 00:26:21,741
Ryan: That happened to me two nights ago and it's

849
00:26:21,761 --> 00:26:22,645
Ryan: been continuing to happen.

850
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,802
Ryan: I met this girl that I was seeing for I

851
00:26:26,822 --> 00:26:28,127
Ryan: don't know see a couple of months, some of

852
00:26:28,147 --> 00:26:30,345
Ryan: that and then she kept saying, oh, you're

853
00:26:30,365 --> 00:26:31,549
Ryan: not for me, but then coming back.

854
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:32,734
Ryan: Then she said, oh, you're not for me, and

855
00:26:32,755 --> 00:26:34,100
Ryan: coming back and I was like I'm done with it.

856
00:26:34,220 --> 00:26:35,105
Ryan: She says she's not for date.

857
00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:35,994
Ryan: And I was like you know what?

858
00:26:36,156 --> 00:26:36,360
Ryan: I'm out.

859
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:39,549
Ryan: We should continue to fucking text me all

860
00:26:39,569 --> 00:26:40,010
Ryan: weekend.

861
00:26:40,380 --> 00:26:41,721
Ryan: It's shit about a clock in the morning, two,

862
00:26:41,741 --> 00:26:43,165
Ryan: three o'clock in the morning, just going hi,

863
00:26:43,186 --> 00:26:43,510
Ryan: how are you?

864
00:26:44,984 --> 00:26:45,467
Ryan: I'm not for date.

865
00:26:45,620 --> 00:26:47,061
Ryan: She's trying to keep me on the hook and I'm

866
00:26:47,081 --> 00:26:48,325
Ryan: just like I love that and do one.

867
00:26:48,345 --> 00:26:49,669
Ryan: I'm not for that.

868
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,366
Ryan: That, yeah, don't need attention.

869
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:52,504
Ryan: You're better than that.

870
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,824
Ryan: Don't pander to them, get them, get someone

871
00:26:55,884 --> 00:26:56,185
Ryan: better.

872
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,545
Ryan: The person who needs attention, which

873
00:26:57,565 --> 00:26:59,103
Ryan: you'll get a venture, he or she will get it

874
00:26:59,143 --> 00:26:59,685
Ryan: from somewhere.

875
00:26:59,860 --> 00:27:03,049
Ryan: But yeah, that's fucking bullshit, innit,

876
00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:04,803
Ryan: absolutely bullshit.

877
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,764
Ryan: If the person doesn't want to be, if the

878
00:27:08,804 --> 00:27:10,529
Ryan: person doesn't want to be seen with you,

879
00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:12,726
Ryan: well, why are you fucking going out?

880
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:13,691
Ryan: Why is they going out with you?

881
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:15,926
Ryan: They're obviously, they're obviously

882
00:27:16,047 --> 00:27:17,861
Ryan: fucking in another relationship, they're

883
00:27:17,881 --> 00:27:19,440
Ryan: married or they've got a fella or a

884
00:27:19,461 --> 00:27:20,646
Ryan: girlfriend or whatever it is.

885
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:21,924
Ryan: That's basically the truth.

886
00:27:22,044 --> 00:27:22,707
Ryan: Let's be honest.

887
00:27:23,020 --> 00:27:24,446
Ryan: If the person doesn't want to be seen with

888
00:27:24,466 --> 00:27:26,426
Ryan: you, there's something not right there.

889
00:27:27,820 --> 00:27:32,509
Ryan: Jesus Christ, that's sorry I can't see you

890
00:27:32,549 --> 00:27:32,810
Ryan: tonight.

891
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,028
Ryan: Got my wife and kids at home, there we go.

892
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,407
Ryan: Somebody sent actually a list of them over.

893
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:39,422
Ryan: Who's that from?

894
00:27:40,425 --> 00:27:41,769
Ryan: Oh, anonymous, oh, here we go.

895
00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:43,705
Ryan: Must be juicy if you fucking said they're

896
00:27:43,726 --> 00:27:44,167
Ryan: anonymous.

897
00:27:44,860 --> 00:27:48,570
Ryan: Not liking cats has to do with needing to

898
00:27:48,651 --> 00:27:50,505
Ryan: feel in control of the situation.

899
00:27:50,726 --> 00:27:52,405
Ryan: Consent, what the fuck are you talking

900
00:27:52,446 --> 00:27:52,627
Ryan: about?

901
00:27:53,313 --> 00:27:55,343
Ryan: Not liking cats, how can not liking cats be

902
00:27:55,384 --> 00:27:55,985
Ryan: a red flag?

903
00:27:57,189 --> 00:27:58,321
Ryan: I mean not being funny Cats.

904
00:27:58,542 --> 00:27:59,826
Ryan: Yeah, I mean, I'm a dog person.

905
00:27:59,866 --> 00:28:00,569
Ryan: I don't mind cats.

906
00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:01,261
Ryan: I used to.

907
00:28:01,301 --> 00:28:02,245
Ryan: I don't trust cats.

908
00:28:02,867 --> 00:28:03,549
Ryan: Don't get me wrong.

909
00:28:03,860 --> 00:28:04,904
Ryan: Cats are fucking mental.

910
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:06,884
Ryan: This is what I don't like about them.

911
00:28:07,024 --> 00:28:07,547
Ryan: They're crazy.

912
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,065
Ryan: You know, when you've got like a dog or a

913
00:28:09,125 --> 00:28:11,001
Ryan: cat, you can go up to a dog, right, and you

914
00:28:11,021 --> 00:28:12,582
Ryan: go keep me a boy, come here, and they come

915
00:28:12,622 --> 00:28:13,766
Ryan: running and they're all sweet.

916
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,184
Ryan: Yes, come on, give me attention.

917
00:28:15,525 --> 00:28:16,429
Ryan: Great, fantastic.

918
00:28:16,540 --> 00:28:18,286
Ryan: You go to a cat, you go keep me a cat,

919
00:28:19,260 --> 00:28:20,420
Ryan: whiskills, whatever you want to call it and

920
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,688
Ryan: it just looks at you and goes, fuck you.

921
00:28:23,340 --> 00:28:25,147
Ryan: And you can see it saying fuck you and its

922
00:28:25,308 --> 00:28:26,323
Ryan: eyes, and just doesn't come.

923
00:28:26,765 --> 00:28:28,022
Ryan: So then you ignore it and then it comes

924
00:28:28,102 --> 00:28:28,805
Ryan: over when it wants.

925
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:30,605
Ryan: Well, fucking cats are dicks.

926
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:32,063
Ryan: Cats are dicks.

927
00:28:32,464 --> 00:28:34,250
Ryan: There's a reason, right, I don't trust cats.

928
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:35,945
Ryan: There's a reason why the ancient Egyptians

929
00:28:36,366 --> 00:28:37,188
Ryan: worshipped cats.

930
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,649
Ryan: We don't know why, but there's a reason.

931
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:41,966
Ryan: And the ancient Egyptians went silly.

932
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,388
Ryan: They weren't fucking crazy, they're fucking

933
00:28:44,428 --> 00:28:44,981
Ryan: mental Cat.

934
00:28:45,021 --> 00:28:46,246
Ryan: Keep an eye out for cats.

935
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:47,805
Ryan: They'll fucking murder you in your sleep as

936
00:28:47,845 --> 00:28:48,046
Ryan: well.

937
00:28:49,140 --> 00:28:50,426
Ryan: Come on, that is careful.

938
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:52,126
Ryan: Cats are coming to take over the world.

939
00:28:52,380 --> 00:28:53,766
Ryan: That's all we need in 2024.

940
00:28:53,980 --> 00:28:55,624
Ryan: A cat uprising just waiting for it.

941
00:28:56,045 --> 00:28:58,110
Ryan: Fuck that.

942
00:28:58,431 --> 00:28:59,193
Ryan: That was number one.

943
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:00,665
Ryan: We would offer a fucking tangent there.

944
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,902
Ryan: Number two being able not being able to

945
00:29:03,943 --> 00:29:06,690
Ryan: maintain a platonic female relationship

946
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:08,466
Ryan: without it becoming sexual.

947
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:12,503
Ryan: That's basically every guy.

948
00:29:13,467 --> 00:29:14,049
Ryan: That's what it is.

949
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,842
Ryan: If a guy's being honest right, I'm gonna be

950
00:29:16,902 --> 00:29:19,025
Ryan: dead serious right now that's just to your

951
00:29:19,065 --> 00:29:19,729
Ryan: girls out there.

952
00:29:20,060 --> 00:29:21,225
Ryan: That's just to your girls out there.

953
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,860
Ryan: If any guy is trying to be your friend and

954
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:26,366
Ryan: being your best friend on that sort of

955
00:29:26,387 --> 00:29:28,066
Ryan: stuff, it's because he wants to shag you.

956
00:29:28,621 --> 00:29:29,545
Ryan: Simple as that.

957
00:29:29,980 --> 00:29:30,924
Ryan: Get that through your head.

958
00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:32,002
Ryan: It is.

959
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:33,985
Ryan: They're playing the long game.

960
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:34,984
Ryan: He's being a dick.

961
00:29:35,460 --> 00:29:37,620
Ryan: And if you've got a fella who's upset that

962
00:29:37,660 --> 00:29:39,025
Ryan: you haven't spent the whole time with this

963
00:29:39,045 --> 00:29:41,921
Ryan: guy and you're kicking off with a fella, no,

964
00:29:42,182 --> 00:29:42,985
Ryan: he's looking out for you.

965
00:29:43,045 --> 00:29:45,264
Ryan: He knows, Guys, we can see it a mile away.

966
00:29:45,886 --> 00:29:46,407
Ryan: We can see it.

967
00:29:46,427 --> 00:29:48,041
Ryan: That's why the guy's kicking off your

968
00:29:48,062 --> 00:29:49,321
Ryan: boyfriend's kicking off because you've got

969
00:29:49,342 --> 00:29:50,586
Ryan: a platonic relationship with a guy.

970
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,105
Ryan: He's trying to fucking do you?

971
00:29:53,580 --> 00:29:55,403
Ryan: Some guys I like that, some guys are not,

972
00:29:55,483 --> 00:29:57,661
Ryan: but I would say 90% of the guys out there

973
00:29:57,681 --> 00:29:58,364
Ryan: are trash, aren't they?

974
00:29:58,705 --> 00:29:59,287
Ryan: So get rid.

975
00:30:00,620 --> 00:30:02,406
Ryan: Not being open minded to new ideas or

976
00:30:02,446 --> 00:30:02,887
Ryan: cultures?

977
00:30:02,927 --> 00:30:03,489
Ryan: Yeah, that's fair.

978
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,825
Ryan: Not being able to communicate properly,

979
00:30:07,029 --> 00:30:07,711
Ryan: there you are.

980
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,105
Ryan: Some guys don't know how to communicate

981
00:30:09,145 --> 00:30:09,487
Ryan: properly.

982
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:10,086
Ryan: This is the thing.

983
00:30:13,969 --> 00:30:14,832
Ryan: This is the thing.

984
00:30:14,872 --> 00:30:18,456
Ryan: Oh, got it.

985
00:30:18,740 --> 00:30:19,845
Ryan: Add a bit of a coffin for that there.

986
00:30:20,260 --> 00:30:21,681
Ryan: Not being able to communicate yeah, some

987
00:30:21,702 --> 00:30:23,488
Ryan: guys don't know how to communicate properly.

988
00:30:23,601 --> 00:30:25,622
Ryan: They just, they just they've not been

989
00:30:25,662 --> 00:30:26,767
Ryan: taught properly how to do it.

990
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:28,306
Ryan: It's just the way, as guys are like that.

991
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:29,760
Ryan: They don't know how to communicate, they

992
00:30:29,780 --> 00:30:31,988
Ryan: just know how to communicate basic.

993
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:33,724
Ryan: It's not with a woman, of course.

994
00:30:33,744 --> 00:30:34,526
Ryan: They don't know how, because we're

995
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:34,967
Ryan: different.

996
00:30:35,088 --> 00:30:36,441
Ryan: We're different the way we speak and we're

997
00:30:36,461 --> 00:30:37,726
Ryan: different the way we actually open up.

998
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,182
Ryan: A lot of guys don't open up because they're

999
00:30:39,202 --> 00:30:40,622
Ryan: not been taught how to, they've not got

1000
00:30:40,642 --> 00:30:42,843
Ryan: that emotional capacity, because we're told

1001
00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:45,344
Ryan: to be big, strong, brutish men, to do

1002
00:30:45,424 --> 00:30:46,667
Ryan: fucking everything for anyone.

1003
00:30:47,389 --> 00:30:49,283
Ryan: Don't show emotion, be tough, be fucking

1004
00:30:49,303 --> 00:30:51,169
Ryan: resilient, everything it takes us tolls.

1005
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:52,123
Ryan: A lot of people don't know how to

1006
00:30:52,143 --> 00:30:53,885
Ryan: communicate, so it shouldn't be a red flag.

1007
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:54,582
Ryan: That should be.

1008
00:30:55,485 --> 00:30:56,368
Ryan: I should just be normal.

1009
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:58,425
Ryan: No emotional intelligence.

1010
00:30:58,740 --> 00:31:01,083
Ryan: Yeah, see, the previous point Objectifies

1011
00:31:01,144 --> 00:31:03,081
Ryan: women yeah, I'm okay, fair enough, I get

1012
00:31:03,101 --> 00:31:05,646
Ryan: that one and does not have empathy or

1013
00:31:05,726 --> 00:31:06,248
Ryan: compassion.

1014
00:31:06,620 --> 00:31:08,004
Ryan: See, this goes on from the previous

1015
00:31:08,024 --> 00:31:08,887
Ryan: communication as well.

1016
00:31:08,907 --> 00:31:09,730
Ryan: That's the same sort of thing.

1017
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,360
Ryan: If this is a guy's point of view, you

1018
00:31:12,380 --> 00:31:14,927
Ryan: probably don't know how to fucking display

1019
00:31:15,027 --> 00:31:16,029
Ryan: empathy or compassion.

1020
00:31:16,450 --> 00:31:17,794
Ryan: They might do it, they might feel it, they

1021
00:31:17,814 --> 00:31:19,137
Ryan: just don't know how to explain it.

1022
00:31:19,505 --> 00:31:20,728
Ryan: It's different man, it's different.

1023
00:31:21,550 --> 00:31:24,296
Ryan: So there you go, there's some red flags for

1024
00:31:24,316 --> 00:31:24,376
Ryan: you.

1025
00:31:24,396 --> 00:31:24,857
Ryan: What do you think?

1026
00:31:24,997 --> 00:31:25,458
Ryan: I'm not sure.

1027
00:31:25,926 --> 00:31:27,492
Ryan: There's some that I agree with, there's

1028
00:31:27,512 --> 00:31:28,135
Ryan: some that I'm not.

1029
00:31:28,175 --> 00:31:30,083
Ryan: But again, when it comes to red flags and

1030
00:31:30,123 --> 00:31:31,808
Ryan: stuff like that, it's just bullshit at the

1031
00:31:31,828 --> 00:31:32,209
Ryan: end of the day.

1032
00:31:32,229 --> 00:31:34,455
Ryan: Just a lot of people have, as I said,

1033
00:31:34,475 --> 00:31:36,327
Ryan: mentioned previously, a lot of people have

1034
00:31:36,447 --> 00:31:37,891
Ryan: used these red flags because they've

1035
00:31:37,911 --> 00:31:39,756
Ryan: happened to them in previous relationships,

1036
00:31:40,285 --> 00:31:41,730
Ryan: so they're now trying to portray this

1037
00:31:42,051 --> 00:31:42,512
Ryan: ongoing.

1038
00:31:42,874 --> 00:31:46,064
Ryan: You can't use stuff that's happened to you

1039
00:31:46,084 --> 00:31:47,611
Ryan: in the past into your new relationships.

1040
00:31:47,671 --> 00:31:49,781
Ryan: It's not fair, it's not right, because you

1041
00:31:49,801 --> 00:31:50,485
Ryan: have to keep open mind.

1042
00:31:50,686 --> 00:31:52,210
Ryan: I know it's tough, I know you can't help it,

1043
00:31:52,251 --> 00:31:52,873
Ryan: but you have to.

1044
00:31:53,114 --> 00:31:56,605
Ryan: You have to use the previous relationships,

1045
00:31:56,765 --> 00:31:58,309
Ryan: what's been wrong, but use it as a learning

1046
00:31:58,349 --> 00:31:58,550
Ryan: curve.

1047
00:31:58,570 --> 00:32:00,896
Ryan: Don't use it set in stone, yeah, just

1048
00:32:00,916 --> 00:32:02,549
Ryan: because, yeah, you got cheated on.

1049
00:32:02,589 --> 00:32:03,090
Ryan: It sucks.

1050
00:32:03,331 --> 00:32:04,475
Ryan: It does suck, it's horrible.

1051
00:32:05,398 --> 00:32:07,285
Ryan: But don't go into another relationship

1052
00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:08,633
Ryan: thinking that's going to happen again.

1053
00:32:08,653 --> 00:32:09,982
Ryan: I know you can't help it, but keep open

1054
00:32:10,002 --> 00:32:10,122
Ryan: minded.

1055
00:32:10,143 --> 00:32:12,650
Ryan: You're going to have to be strong in this.

1056
00:32:12,810 --> 00:32:14,153
Ryan: Keeping your guard up and letting your

1057
00:32:14,193 --> 00:32:17,786
Ryan: guard down is a hard thing to do, but

1058
00:32:17,806 --> 00:32:20,455
Ryan: you'll realise that after a while it does

1059
00:32:20,495 --> 00:32:20,997
Ryan: get better.

1060
00:32:21,539 --> 00:32:22,382
Ryan: It does get better.

1061
00:32:22,963 --> 00:32:23,405
Ryan: So here we go.

1062
00:32:23,585 --> 00:32:24,828
Ryan: Here's the last one.

1063
00:32:25,470 --> 00:32:26,813
Ryan: Here's the last one because we've gone for

1064
00:32:26,833 --> 00:32:29,426
Ryan: a bit happier now and it's yes, it's been

1065
00:32:29,446 --> 00:32:30,048
Ryan: good fun anyway.

1066
00:32:30,589 --> 00:32:33,036
Ryan: So autumn of 2010,.

1067
00:32:33,236 --> 00:32:34,861
Ryan: I joined UK Cupid.

1068
00:32:35,342 --> 00:32:36,867
Ryan: I was just out of a marriage and not

1069
00:32:36,927 --> 00:32:38,814
Ryan: looking for another relationship In case

1070
00:32:38,894 --> 00:32:39,035
Ryan: why.

1071
00:32:39,055 --> 00:32:39,878
Ryan: You know KCupid.

1072
00:32:39,898 --> 00:32:42,206
Ryan: Then I just wanted to go on some dates,

1073
00:32:42,607 --> 00:32:45,052
Ryan: maybe have some funny stories, maybe even

1074
00:32:45,092 --> 00:32:48,018
Ryan: get laid, don't we all Filed out my profile

1075
00:32:48,366 --> 00:32:50,451
Ryan: answered a ridiculous amount of questions.

1076
00:32:50,932 --> 00:32:52,375
Ryan: I had listed in my profile that I

1077
00:32:52,415 --> 00:32:55,051
Ryan: particularly I was particularly into

1078
00:32:55,433 --> 00:32:57,079
Ryan: astrophysics and the universe.

1079
00:32:57,119 --> 00:32:58,525
Ryan: Because of the general feeling of

1080
00:32:58,725 --> 00:33:01,674
Ryan: mindfuckery I get while contemplating it.

1081
00:33:02,757 --> 00:33:04,843
Ryan: A few weeks in I got a message from a guy

1082
00:33:04,863 --> 00:33:06,888
Ryan: with a 99% match rating.

1083
00:33:07,509 --> 00:33:09,313
Ryan: He was the highest match in my entire

1084
00:33:09,393 --> 00:33:11,638
Ryan: country and lived only a few miles away.

1085
00:33:11,866 --> 00:33:12,908
Ryan: Fuck it, I'll check you out.

1086
00:33:13,529 --> 00:33:15,414
Ryan: It says how do you feel about string theory?

1087
00:33:15,975 --> 00:33:18,128
Ryan: And this was so refreshing after weeks of

1088
00:33:18,469 --> 00:33:19,773
Ryan: yo baby, what's up?

1089
00:33:20,976 --> 00:33:22,842
Ryan: Or hey, I see you're bisexual.

1090
00:33:23,042 --> 00:33:24,426
Ryan: Would you like to have a threesome with me

1091
00:33:24,447 --> 00:33:25,931
Ryan: and my really unattractive husband?

1092
00:33:27,436 --> 00:33:28,298
Ryan: I'll take this as a go then.

1093
00:33:28,961 --> 00:33:29,402
Ryan: Oh bless.

1094
00:33:29,904 --> 00:33:31,730
Ryan: So we chatted for a bit, added each other

1095
00:33:31,770 --> 00:33:34,338
Ryan: on Facebook, scheduled the date for the

1096
00:33:34,379 --> 00:33:34,981
Ryan: next weekend.

1097
00:33:35,783 --> 00:33:37,427
Ryan: We seemed to get along really well.

1098
00:33:38,249 --> 00:33:38,970
Ryan: Time for the date.

1099
00:33:39,071 --> 00:33:39,732
Ryan: I showed up.

1100
00:33:39,932 --> 00:33:41,295
Ryan: He's waiting for me outside.

1101
00:33:41,555 --> 00:33:44,467
Ryan: He's hot, I'm smart, funny, witty,

1102
00:33:44,928 --> 00:33:47,513
Ryan: generally great to be around, and I've got

1103
00:33:47,533 --> 00:33:48,215
Ryan: a cute face.

1104
00:33:48,836 --> 00:33:50,846
Ryan: Obviously very modest as well, but I've

1105
00:33:50,906 --> 00:33:54,573
Ryan: listed my body type as curvy, and anyone

1106
00:33:54,653 --> 00:33:57,078
Ryan: who's done online dating knows what that

1107
00:33:57,138 --> 00:33:57,419
Ryan: means.

1108
00:33:57,745 --> 00:34:00,392
Ryan: Yeah, you're fat.

1109
00:34:00,512 --> 00:34:02,216
Ryan: I'm not disgustingly overweight.

1110
00:34:02,377 --> 00:34:05,143
Ryan: There we go, but there is, but there is.

1111
00:34:05,765 --> 00:34:08,631
Ryan: I compare myself to Pam Poovey, a studgy

1112
00:34:08,691 --> 00:34:10,816
Ryan: bisexual who's a knockout on the sack.

1113
00:34:11,437 --> 00:34:13,048
Ryan: I have no idea who Pam Poovey is and I

1114
00:34:13,108 --> 00:34:13,710
Ryan: don't intend to.

1115
00:34:14,694 --> 00:34:15,918
Ryan: I'll take you in one for another.

1116
00:34:16,460 --> 00:34:18,807
Ryan: We ordered dinner and smoked a hookah and

1117
00:34:18,847 --> 00:34:20,873
Ryan: before I knew it, the waitress was kindly

1118
00:34:21,093 --> 00:34:22,657
Ryan: asking us to leave because it was two in

1119
00:34:22,685 --> 00:34:23,086
Ryan: the morning.

1120
00:34:23,588 --> 00:34:25,274
Ryan: The restaurant had closed about an hour ago.

1121
00:34:26,057 --> 00:34:27,623
Ryan: Whoops, I was so caught up in the

1122
00:34:27,663 --> 00:34:29,388
Ryan: conversation that I lost track of time.

1123
00:34:29,689 --> 00:34:30,431
Ryan: It was amazing.

1124
00:34:32,036 --> 00:34:33,981
Ryan: I was caught hook lying in sinker.

1125
00:34:34,543 --> 00:34:36,387
Ryan: So we start to leave the restaurant and I

1126
00:34:36,427 --> 00:34:38,613
Ryan: have the sudden realisation that our date

1127
00:34:38,653 --> 00:34:40,898
Ryan: is ending and I'm so fucking into him.

1128
00:34:41,866 --> 00:34:43,832
Ryan: That so fucking into him is in bold.

1129
00:34:44,053 --> 00:34:45,418
Ryan: So she must be doing something.

1130
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,806
Ryan: But there's just no way that he likes me

1131
00:34:47,846 --> 00:34:49,470
Ryan: because he's an amazing shape and I'm

1132
00:34:49,530 --> 00:34:50,653
Ryan: overweight.

1133
00:34:50,673 --> 00:34:52,798
Ryan: Now I'm faced with an ass out hug.

1134
00:34:53,106 --> 00:34:55,093
Ryan: Or I'm not attracted to your handshake.

1135
00:34:55,736 --> 00:34:58,025
Ryan: Or a fist bump you do a little cheeky fist

1136
00:34:58,045 --> 00:34:59,167
Ryan: bump, you know what I'm about.

1137
00:34:59,729 --> 00:35:01,733
Ryan: Yeah, let us down and explode and go

1138
00:35:01,834 --> 00:35:02,495
Ryan: explode at the end.

1139
00:35:02,916 --> 00:35:05,890
Ryan: Or a high five we need to normalise high

1140
00:35:05,931 --> 00:35:08,601
Ryan: fives as ways of seeing later to something.

1141
00:35:08,622 --> 00:35:09,043
Ryan: You know what I mean.

1142
00:35:09,344 --> 00:35:10,507
Ryan: Or a top gun five.

1143
00:35:10,808 --> 00:35:11,991
Ryan: Yeah, they said a top gun five.

1144
00:35:12,011 --> 00:35:14,397
Ryan: You know you walk up back back, tell you

1145
00:35:14,417 --> 00:35:14,838
Ryan: what girls.

1146
00:35:15,005 --> 00:35:16,149
Ryan: If you're out there listening to this and

1147
00:35:16,169 --> 00:35:17,734
Ryan: you go on a date with a guy and you say see

1148
00:35:17,774 --> 00:35:19,848
Ryan: you later and you pull out the top gun, he

1149
00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:20,951
Ryan: will know what's happening.

1150
00:35:21,492 --> 00:35:24,206
Ryan: He will see it and he will be amused and

1151
00:35:24,466 --> 00:35:27,053
Ryan: bewildered and so excited If you bust out

1152
00:35:27,073 --> 00:35:28,817
Ryan: the top gun five and hit it first time.

1153
00:35:29,745 --> 00:35:30,568
Ryan: He is going to marry you.

1154
00:35:30,869 --> 00:35:31,992
Ryan: He will marry you straight away.

1155
00:35:32,032 --> 00:35:34,186
Ryan: The next day he's going to take you to the

1156
00:35:34,226 --> 00:35:35,732
Ryan: chucks and marry the shit out of you.

1157
00:35:37,317 --> 00:35:37,779
Ryan: Let's try that.

1158
00:35:37,799 --> 00:35:40,207
Ryan: Let's try normalise top gun fives as ways

1159
00:35:40,267 --> 00:35:41,170
Ryan: of seeing see later.

1160
00:35:42,694 --> 00:35:44,901
Ryan: We made it to my car and I get all soppy

1161
00:35:45,061 --> 00:35:47,148
Ryan: and nervous and tried to say goodbye really

1162
00:35:47,208 --> 00:35:48,132
Ryan: quickly and run away.

1163
00:35:48,433 --> 00:35:49,577
Ryan: But he pulled me in for a kiss.

1164
00:35:50,541 --> 00:35:52,166
Ryan: We made out the back seat of his car like

1165
00:35:52,206 --> 00:35:53,710
Ryan: teenagers until the sun came up.

1166
00:35:54,371 --> 00:35:55,313
Ryan: Okay, I'll have a big seat car.

1167
00:35:56,496 --> 00:35:57,057
Ryan: Okay, great.

1168
00:35:57,765 --> 00:35:59,209
Ryan: On our next date we figured out that we

1169
00:35:59,229 --> 00:36:01,133
Ryan: have incredible sexual chemistry.

1170
00:36:02,055 --> 00:36:03,967
Ryan: After a few weeks it's looking like I'm

1171
00:36:03,987 --> 00:36:05,752
Ryan: going to have to lock this shit down.

1172
00:36:05,792 --> 00:36:07,116
Ryan: So we enter our relationship.

1173
00:36:07,405 --> 00:36:08,027
Ryan: Oh, that's cool.

1174
00:36:08,387 --> 00:36:10,672
Ryan: And then, months later, I love him and then

1175
00:36:10,893 --> 00:36:13,198
Ryan: he loves me, so we move in together.

1176
00:36:13,465 --> 00:36:15,152
Ryan: We click in a way that I never knew was

1177
00:36:15,212 --> 00:36:15,694
Ryan: possible.

1178
00:36:16,337 --> 00:36:18,264
Ryan: I still get so excited to come home to him

1179
00:36:18,364 --> 00:36:18,826
Ryan: every night.

1180
00:36:19,387 --> 00:36:21,253
Ryan: I love the way he buys me Stephen Hawking's

1181
00:36:21,273 --> 00:36:25,485
Ryan: books about midgets and makes me breakfast

1182
00:36:25,505 --> 00:36:27,690
Ryan: and bed in the morning, and we watch

1183
00:36:27,730 --> 00:36:28,772
Ryan: documentaries as well.

1184
00:36:29,193 --> 00:36:31,338
Ryan: I'm having the best sex of my life almost

1185
00:36:31,545 --> 00:36:32,107
Ryan: every day.

1186
00:36:33,050 --> 00:36:34,033
Ryan: Fucking hell, go on fella.

1187
00:36:34,154 --> 00:36:35,538
Ryan: He's pounding that.

1188
00:36:35,739 --> 00:36:36,923
Ryan: He's pounding it, go on.

1189
00:36:37,264 --> 00:36:38,569
Ryan: And we're also trying for a baby.

1190
00:36:38,690 --> 00:36:40,056
Ryan: Oh, this is actually turning to be really

1191
00:36:40,076 --> 00:36:40,317
Ryan: nice.

1192
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,426
Ryan: Anyway, I figured there was going to be a

1193
00:36:42,446 --> 00:36:44,817
Ryan: whole bunch of scary stories here and it

1194
00:36:44,857 --> 00:36:46,444
Ryan: might be helpful for people to see that

1195
00:36:46,524 --> 00:36:48,552
Ryan: online dating really, really, really can

1196
00:36:48,572 --> 00:36:50,561
Ryan: help you find an amazing person to share

1197
00:36:50,581 --> 00:36:51,042
Ryan: your life with.

1198
00:36:51,063 --> 00:36:53,109
Ryan: Oh, that's quite nice to actually.

1199
00:36:53,229 --> 00:36:54,492
Ryan: Honestly, I was reading through that.

1200
00:36:54,773 --> 00:36:57,231
Ryan: I was actually thinking when's the fucking

1201
00:36:57,271 --> 00:36:57,915
Ryan: punchline coming?

1202
00:36:57,935 --> 00:36:58,942
Ryan: When's the horrible thing?

1203
00:36:59,022 --> 00:37:01,730
Ryan: I was really hoping there wasn't and I'm so

1204
00:37:01,751 --> 00:37:02,372
Ryan: happy there isn't.

1205
00:37:02,833 --> 00:37:03,475
Ryan: So there we go.

1206
00:37:03,495 --> 00:37:04,076
Ryan: So that was nice.

1207
00:37:04,237 --> 00:37:07,712
Ryan: Oh, ps also met a guy on OKCuban who spent

1208
00:37:07,732 --> 00:37:10,258
Ryan: her entire day telling me about death camps,

1209
00:37:11,168 --> 00:37:14,540
Ryan: obama's Kenyan Buff, stockpiled coffins and

1210
00:37:14,620 --> 00:37:16,045
Ryan: all of the really out there conspiracy

1211
00:37:16,045 --> 00:37:16,466
Ryan: bullshit.

1212
00:37:16,580 --> 00:37:18,675
Ryan: I just got drunk and played on my phone.

1213
00:37:18,789 --> 00:37:19,845
Ryan: Now, well, there you go.

1214
00:37:19,959 --> 00:37:21,768
Ryan: You have to kiss a few frogs before you

1215
00:37:21,788 --> 00:37:22,310
Ryan: find your friends.

1216
00:37:22,330 --> 00:37:24,319
Ryan: Guys, there you go.

1217
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:25,002
Ryan: That's nice.

1218
00:37:25,022 --> 00:37:26,226
Ryan: That was a nice way to finish it off.

1219
00:37:26,266 --> 00:37:27,249
Ryan: Really, to be quite honest with you, I

1220
00:37:27,269 --> 00:37:27,811
Ryan: enjoyed that.

1221
00:37:27,851 --> 00:37:28,533
Ryan: That was good fun.

1222
00:37:28,834 --> 00:37:29,516
Ryan: That was good fun.

1223
00:37:29,625 --> 00:37:30,788
Ryan: So there we go.

1224
00:37:31,209 --> 00:37:31,610
Ryan: There we go.

1225
00:37:31,630 --> 00:37:33,695
Ryan: We'll wrap up now because I need to go and

1226
00:37:33,956 --> 00:37:35,368
Ryan: I'm just going to get pissed up now.

1227
00:37:35,388 --> 00:37:35,991
Ryan: So, what the fuck?

1228
00:37:36,011 --> 00:37:37,639
Ryan: Not Sunday night, I'm just going to enjoy

1229
00:37:37,659 --> 00:37:37,981
Ryan: myself.

1230
00:37:38,202 --> 00:37:39,146
Ryan: Fuck work the next morning.

1231
00:37:39,243 --> 00:37:40,891
Ryan: So, guys, thank you for joining us.

1232
00:37:40,989 --> 00:37:42,522
Ryan: It's been an absolute pleasure.

1233
00:37:42,620 --> 00:37:45,249
Ryan: Hopefully your 2024 hasn't started off

1234
00:37:45,289 --> 00:37:45,790
Ryan: bullshit.

1235
00:37:45,830 --> 00:37:47,213
Ryan: But be optimistic.

1236
00:37:47,233 --> 00:37:49,638
Ryan: I hope this has a bit of smell in your face.

1237
00:37:49,678 --> 00:37:52,596
Ryan: So please go out there, like it, share it,

1238
00:37:52,636 --> 00:37:53,761
Ryan: tell your friends about this.

1239
00:37:53,801 --> 00:37:55,948
Ryan: I'll be posting it up on my socials.

1240
00:37:56,188 --> 00:37:58,052
Ryan: You can find my social handle underneath.

1241
00:37:58,613 --> 00:38:01,038
Ryan: It's at Ryan underscore, walker 83.

1242
00:38:01,646 --> 00:38:03,651
Ryan: And then, obviously, on X Twitter X, but I

1243
00:38:03,671 --> 00:38:05,115
Ryan: don't want to fucking call it nowadays

1244
00:38:05,195 --> 00:38:06,269
Ryan: Facebook, instagram.

1245
00:38:06,550 --> 00:38:07,738
Ryan: If you want to get in touch with me, get in

1246
00:38:07,758 --> 00:38:08,663
Ryan: touch with me through Instagram.

1247
00:38:08,684 --> 00:38:09,827
Ryan: That is my main point.

1248
00:38:09,888 --> 00:38:11,692
Ryan: But go and listen to other episodes.

1249
00:38:11,713 --> 00:38:14,467
Ryan: You can get one spotify iTunes, I know

1250
00:38:14,547 --> 00:38:15,370
Ryan: everywhere under the sun.

1251
00:38:15,470 --> 00:38:17,256
Ryan: But go and visit the news spanking website,

1252
00:38:18,345 --> 00:38:20,734
Ryan: the walk the line podcastcom.

1253
00:38:21,376 --> 00:38:23,222
Ryan: And guys, it's been an absolute pleasure.

1254
00:38:23,503 --> 00:38:24,908
Ryan: I hope you have a great rest of your day

1255
00:38:25,391 --> 00:38:27,460
Ryan: and remember, remember tell someone you

1256
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:27,701
Ryan: love them.

1257
00:38:27,902 --> 00:38:29,569
Ryan: Take care of yourself, guys, peace.